Working Your Recovery: Facing Temptation

Dan is the director of Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in helping men and women overcome unwanted LGBTQ issues, sexual abuse recovery, and trauma. He is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and began his journey out of homosexuality in 1984. This newsletter is adapted from a teaching he presented at Celebrate Recovery, Woodside - Troy on September 27, 2024.

“Lord, take these desires away…”
Pretty much all of us at one point or another.

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”
Luke 9:23 NIV

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“Lord, take these feelings away!” I think we’ve all prayed that at some point in our lives. Probably about the same time we’ve said for the umpteenth time, “I’m sick of this. I’ll never _____ again!” The problem is that we keep doing it again. We may have even heard testimonies from people who asked God to take their addiction away and He actually did. Instantly. “What’s with that?” “Why him and not me?” Fair question. I don’t know that answer to that. But I do know that those testimonies are about one in a million. They’re rare. Most of us have to fight and work our recovery for a very long time before we confidently start saying stuff like, “I used to be a _____,” or “I’m a former _____.” For most of us, recovery is a long process of learning to say no to our nagging desires, learning to follow Jesus, and learning to address some pretty painful emotional issues that fueled our addictions. Recovery isn’t fun, It’s a lot of work.

Luke quotes Jesus in Chapter 9, verse 23, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” Denying ourselves and taking up our cross daily implies an active lifestyle of saying no to our own desires and yes to His. It implies that some of those noes and yeses are pretty hard to say. What gives? Aren’t we supposed to be new creations [2 Corinthians 5:17]? Since Jesus went so far as dying on the cross for us and the Holy Spirit lives inside of us, why is this recovery thing so difficulty for many of us while it seems to be a cinch for others? After being a Christian since 1984, and getting serious about my recovery in 1999, I still don’t know why some people get instantly delivered. My struggle with unwanted same-sex attraction went on for a very long time. Actually, it’s still not totally gone, but it’s a small fraction of what it used to be. After all these years, I’ve come to trust Jesus more. I’ve come to see my continued temptations, at whatever level they’re currently at, as a reminder to deny myself, take up my cross, and seek Him for the grace to do His will. In that process, I’ve come to know and love the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in deeper ways than I could ever dream. The process is difficult at times. Sometimes it just plain stinks. But it is always worth it.

In Judges 3:1-4, we learn that the Lord intentionally left some of the enemies of Israel in the Promised Land to teach the younger generation how to fight. Battles do something important deep within our souls if we wear the armor of God [Ephesians 6:10-18] and fight them His way. Galatians 5:16 tells us to walk by the Spirit so we don’t fulfill the lusts of the flesh. Battling our addictions God’s way allows the fruits of the Spirit to grow in us; love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control [Galatians 5:22-23]. Verse 24 reads, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”

Let’s be real here, it’s not a “one and done”. It’s a continual lifestyle. Remember, Jesus told us to take up our cross daily. We need to accept the reality that temptations are going to happen while we’re here on this earth, and that we will have to continue to fight them in whatever form those temptations come. This isn’t a popular message. The cultural voices will tell us it’s all good. All men watch porn. Everyone has sex before they’re married. Lots of sex… with whomever they want. Most secular organizations tell those struggling with unwanted same-sex attraction or transgender issues to embrace their “authentic selves” and stop letting the church brainwash them. If we follow that same line of thinking for other struggles and addictions, we would encourage the adulterer to keep cheating on his wife and the porn addict to keep looking at porn. Since there actually are genetic indicators for alcoholism and rage, let’s also tell the alcoholic to keep drinking and the rage-aholic to continue screaming at his kids. Of course, none of that makes any sense. We are called to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit and not the voice of the media, secular organizations, or pop culture.

Does all this mean that we can never overcome our temptations or addictions? That we’ll always be fighting this stuff as much as we are right now? Absolutely not! It is important to note that being tempted is not a sin. Giving into our temptations is. We may be in a fight against sin and addiction, but God gives us effective weapons. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 can give us much hope. It reads, “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 promises that, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” God promises us an open door to run away from our temptations. We must resist the urge to nail that door shut. The challenge in our recovery is to look to the Lord for help. Through Him, we must reject our ungodly desires, deny ourselves, take up our cross, and use that door of escape.

We can take comfort in the fact that we have a high priest who understands our weaknesses and was tempted in every way we are [Hebrews 4:15-16]. He really does understand what it is like to be tempted and have to resist the pleasures of sin. Luke 4:13 reads, “When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him [Jesus] until an opportune time.” We can learn something from this. We can expect temptations until the day we die. If Jesus, the sinless Son of God, had an “opportune time” to get hit with temptation, we who have engaged in sin – who learned to enjoy sin and made a habit of sin – will also have an “opportune time” for temptation. The good news is that during those times, we can “approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” [Hebrews 4:16]

What is your “opportune time”? When do you notice your temptations increasing beyond the typical levels? For many of us, times of high stress, loneliness, life transitions, and unmet expectations can cause our temptations to increase. Others find themselves getting triggered when things are going well. We either don’t think we deserve good things, or we’ve grown up waiting for the trauma that seems to be around every corner. We expect failure, so we might as well sabotage this now and get it over with. At any rate, the devil doesn’t remind us of the pain of our addictions. He reminds us of the pleasures, or at least the thought that we can numb our pain for a short while. The problem is, the price tag is much too high. Sin always brings new pain.

If you find yourself in a season of increased temptations, remember to work your recovery. Pray. Reach out to the Body of Christ for help. Reach out to your sponsor, your accountability partner, or your mentor. Ask yourself if you’ve become sloppy in your boundaries. Have you been in the Word? Have you taken enough time for self-care? Are you hanging out with people who encourage you in your recovery? Sometimes it just takes a few minor adjustments to overcome a wave of temptations. Other times, the Lord is calling you into a season of deeper recovery through a step-study, recovery group, or therapy.

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It also helps to look at your increased temptations like a warning light on the dashboard of your car. Are there deeper emotional triggers going on that the Lord wants to address? Triggers can often be an opportunity for increased healing. In times of increased temptations, ask the Holy Spirit to show you what triggered you and what emotions are under the trigger. Did something happen that caused you to feel rejected, inferior, shameful, fearful? As you understand the trigger and the emotions behind it, ask the Lord what’s going on in your heart. What wrong beliefs, desires, or strongholds are fueling the temptations? Once you understand what’s fueling the temptations, ask the Lord to show you what His holy solution is. Once you apply His holy solution, the temptations will usually dissipate. This process takes some practice, but as you learn to sit quietly with the Lord in your temptations and emotional pain, you’ll be amazed how He can meet you there to bring deeper healing that empowers you to resist the temptation.

This process has become one of my most valuable recovery tools. When I became the ministry director over twenty years ago, I was extremely insecure and felt like I had no idea what I was doing. Donations were scarce and I was afraid that I would be the one to crash this valuable ministry that had already been around for decades. I found myself getting hit with temptations to fantasize about aggressive homosexual encounters. I was confused. This was not my usual temptation. After wrestling with these temptations for about two weeks, I finally stopped fighting them in my own strength and sat with the Lord. I admitted the temptations I had been struggling with and asked Him what the root issue was. He reminded me of my insecurities in becoming the ministry director and how I was worried that I was not capable enough to successfully lead this ministry. He then showed me that I was somehow looking for a strong, masculine force to rescue me and save the day. He was right. The enemy was tempting me to sexualize my insecurities. I felt like I was in over my head, and I wanted someone to come in and rescue me. I repented for giving into my fear. I still didn’t know what I was going to do. I asked the Lord what His holy solution was. He showed me a picture of a strong, right arm. It wasn’t sensual. It was His righteous right arm and I saw a little mini-me tucked inside. The Father was carrying me. He said that He would be my strong, masculine force to empower me and show me how to do what He was calling me to do. His words calmed my heart. Within 15 minutes, the visual temptations I had been getting hit with for two weeks were gone. Sitting with the Lord in our emotional pain and temptations, identifying the root issues, and asking the Holy Spirit for His holy solution is a valuable recovery tool.

And now we come back to where this article started. If we want to follow Jesus, He is calling us to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him. He doesn’t guarantee us instant victory. He actually tells us that we will have trouble in this world. Life is painful at times. So is our addiction. Incredibly, Jesus does promise that He will receive everyone who comes to Him for help. He promises to never leave us or forsake us. He promises to give us a way to escape our temptations. He even promises to complete the work that He began in our hearts. When we consider the pain of our addictions and the blessings of following Christ, there is no viable option. Following Jesus, denying ourselves, and bearing the cross brings peace in the middle of the storm, true freedom on this earth, and eternal life surrounded by His love.

You can overcome sin. Call Reconciliation Ministries at 586.739.5114. We are here to walk with you to Jesus.

All Bible verses are from the New International Version. (2011). BibleGateway.com. http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/#booklist

Photos licensed through www.shutterstock.com. © 2024 Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc. This article may be reproduced and distributed as long as no fee is charged and credit is given.

Now is the time to stand for righteousness. You can make a difference!

In this month’s newsletter, you’ll read Dawn’s testimony of deliverance from a life of abuse, addiction, and homosexuality. She is just one of the many people you’ve helped find healing and transformation through your support of Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan. Dawn is a beautiful example of God’s grace, and the power of faith-based recovery groups like Living Waters, Mending the Soul, Celebrate Recovery, and more. You have made a difference in Dawn’s life, and the lives of so many others who have benefited from the support groups, prayer ministry, licensed counseling, and spiritual care that you help provide.

We desperately need your help. The future of ministries like Reconciliation Ministries that help men and women overcome unwanted same-sex attraction and gender confusion hangs in the balance. On Thursday, February 25th, the US House of Representatives voted 224 to 206 to pass the Equality Act. The fate of this bill in the Senate is unclear; however, President Biden has stated that he intends to sign the act into law within the first 100 days of his presidency. The Equality Act is one of the biggest threats to religious freedom that our country has ever faced.

Here are just a few of the disastrous effects of The Equality Act:

• It would remove protections offered to faith-based organizations under The Religious Freedom Restoration Act of 1993.

• Faith-based organizations will be obligated to accept and follow federal LGBTQ guidelines or face severe penalties.

• The Equality Act will remove freedom of conscience protection from medical practitioners forcing them to perform abortions and provide gender affirming treatments regardless of their convictions and religious doctrine.

• The law identifies any form of support to help anyone overcome unwanted same-sex attraction or gender confusion and embrace biblical sexuality as discrimination.

• The bill would mandate licensed professional therapists and pastoral caregivers to affirm LGBTQ attractions regardless of their religious convictions and the desires of their clients.

You can find more information in the links at the end of this article.

You can make a difference. Contact your US Senators today and urge them not to sponsor or support the Equality Act.

Please be respectful and courteous in your communications with them. Affirm the value and dignity of all people regardless of their beliefs. This includes people within the LGBTQ community as well as people within communities of faith. Let them know if you or someone you love has been helped to overcome homosexuality and/or gender confusion through pastoral care, licensed therapy, and/or support groups. Urge them to keep that option available for others. Keep your communications brief and to the point. You can find your US Senators at https://www.senate.gov/senators/senators-contact.htm.

Thank you for helping to keep the freedom of religion alive in the United States. This is an important time in our nation’s history, and you can make a difference.

Here is more information about The Equality Act:

The House version of The Equality Act
http://lc.org/PDFs/Attachments2PRsLAs/2019/031819EqualityActHR5.pdf

A Call to Action on the Equality Act – Doug Clay, General Superintendent Assemblies of God, USA
https://news.ag.org/en/news/a-call-to-action-on-the-equality-act?fbclid=IwAR2LzpSwrurgIvGj0lkpTCRcC2Ej6tkUlukkMe9a3yyiYRQAO-mJyC3eV3o  

A Dangerous Attack on Religious Freedom and Free Speech – Liberty Counsel
https://www.lcaction.org/HR5  

The FAQS: What You Should Know about the Pro-LGBTQ Equality Act – Gospel Coalition
https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/the-faqs-what-you-should-know-about-the-pro-lgbtq-equality-act/

Thank you for speaking out for the religious freedom of our country. Your voice matters!

In Christ,

Dan Hitz and your friends at Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc.

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God’s Redeeming Love and Deliverance
Dawn Lynn Mann

Dawn is a friend of Reconciliation Ministries and an alumna of the Living Waters program. She is a Celebrate Recovery leader, and a Justice Ambassador for Prison Fellowship. Through the power of Jesus Christ, Dawn has overcome abuse, addiction, and sexual brokenness. She shares her testimony publicly to encourage others. Dawn is also a writer, and the facilitator of an online recovery group. You can read her blog at www.dawnlynnmann.com/feed.

I was pulled into an abyss of an already darkened world by my spiritual blindness. I believed in God but didn’t really know who He was. I surely didn’t live for Him. This path of destruction was paved with despair that left me feeling lonely, sad, deserted, and hopeless. I was a scared, insecure child. All I ever wanted was to be loved, but it became something else. This perverted abuse started as a young child. I tried to have boyfriends, but even through my teenage years their sex drive became too strong to the point of one attempting to rape me. Therefore, I was extremely uncomfortable and fearful of boys who would later become men.

I was afraid to let my feelings out, so I kept them hidden. I began experimenting with alcohol and unfortunately discovered I liked the sense of being free. I lost all inhibitions and felt I was no longer held captive inside my body, but I also was very naïve. One night, I went to a house, thinking I was going to have a couple drinks with other people. Once I arrived, I found I was alone. The house was dark. Two men took advantage of me and stripped me of every inch of dignity I had. At the time I didn’t identify this as rape, or my past experiences as sexual assault and abuse. I stayed silent. I blamed myself.

Later, I was introduced to cocaine. My newest friends were “drug lords.” I was drawn into an underground world completely covered in darkness where killings were rampant. I was trapped under their influence. One night I was led with a runner to a hotel room with no way out. Nothing happened, but that feeling of entrapment came flooding in from what I now know was complex PTSD. My fear of men ran deep. I felt so uncomfortable and completely pushed them away and turned the other direction.

I didn’t know how to face what I was afraid of. I was torn up. This secret stayed bottled up in agonizing silence and led to sexual attraction to other women. One night the shame was more than I could bare. I attempted to drink myself to death. Not too long after that, I met a woman and for the first time felt safe and deeply in love. Drinking was set aside for only special occasions. After 15 years, it fell apart from the tragedies of life. It left me completely devastated and my heart was shattered in pieces. I began to physically hurt. Alcohol gave me an escape once again. Death returned to knock on my door, this time with the question, “How many Xanax could I take to safely knock me out?” What I didn’t know was that even the minimum amount was more than my heart could bare.

I longed to fill my brokenness and find love. I began experimenting by going to gay bars. What I found were people like me. I belonged, felt safe, and was understood. I thought I found new friends. The next few years, I had a few more relationships. I was an emotional mess and my longing to be loved became deeply enmeshed with broken relationships. I started drinking heavily from not knowing how to cope with the mental and emotional abuse from one of these relationships. One night, after an argument with my girlfriend, I found myself at a bar where a man bought me a couple of strong drinks. His advances became extremely inappropriate. The moment I found a way to escape, I left. I was pulled over by the police as soon as I left the parking lot and was arrested. I went straight to jail and charged with a DUI.

My last relationship, where I thought I found love, was filled with verbal, emotional, and spiritual abuse. I didn’t feel safe and was extremely afraid of her. By God’s power the door was finally shut. Not too long after that I got pulled over for speeding. I thought I had waited enough time to sober up, but an alcohol reading of .08 showed otherwise. A hard lesson learned where I take responsibility and thank God that I didn’t have more alcohol in my system and no harm was done to others. I went straight to jail. This time I cried out to God, “Please help me, I am so sorry, I will do anything.” Then God showed me a story about someone else who had been convicted of a DUI. Tears came flooding in. I wasn’t alone. I reached out to that person in my hopeless despair. I was scared and full of shame, but I couldn’t believe how God’s love poured into me through somebody I didn’t even know. It is a moment in my life I will never forget. The DUI was a blessing in disguise because it is when I truly started seeking God with all my heart. My relationship with Him became alive. This is when I surrendered and gave not only my heart, but my life to Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

God had done so much healing in revealing truth, but I wanted to go even deeper. That is exactly what God did through the Living Waters program where He focused on my sexual confusion and abuse. When I spoke from my heart in a safe group, it brought another level of healing from all the pain of abuse I incurred during the darkest times of my past. I wasn’t alone that night. Someone was by my side, held my hand, and wept with me. As I spoke the pain of what was done to Jesus on that cross, where He bore it all and took it upon Himself, I heard Him say, “I have always loved you with an everlasting love.”

I have now been living a life of sobriety for over four years by the grace of God. Jesus is now the One who fills up every broken, empty place with the gift of the Holy Spirit residing in me. Drugs and alcohol were once the lingering effects of the devastation from trauma of sexual abuse and assault. A cleansing love of Jesus Christ like I have never experienced before now resides in my heart. The Lord delivered me from the debilitating fear of men that plunged me into having gay relationships. The love for my ex was and is real, but it is different now as the Lord is the love of my life. I am no longer fearful of men or living a past life of homosexuality. I have been set free by the precious blood of Jesus.

Jesus said to the people who believed in Him, “You are truly My disciples if you remain faithful to My teachings. And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” [John 8:31-32 NLT] The truth is, real love is only found in Jesus.

I now have been sharing God’s story of love and redemption to help others find the hope and freedom that I so desperately needed. The Lord has opened the door to share my story in many churches, and with Celebrate Recovery, a podcast, YouTube, and via radio. I sponsor and mentor others as I have been, and continue to be. I teach God’s word, lead small group, and serve as a Celebrate Recovery leader and a Justice Ambassador for Prison Fellowship. My story, “Breaking Free”, is published in a compilation book, Faith and Freedom. I am blessed to have some of my articles published in Arise Daily, Leading Hearts Magazine, and on my blog. I write about hard stuff that is hidden and bring it into the light to help others benefit from what God has brought me through. I facilitate a safe ministry group where others can come together and share true stories to bring hope and help others. In February I was on a panel discussing sexuality and finding hope and freedom highlighting God’s love for the Arise Esther Virtual Conference. I am looking forward to sharing my testimony with Freedom March in the months ahead. All of this is made possible by the love, redemption, and transformation that Jesus provided through the cross.

I have started the process of writing my own book. The Lord has put a deep passion in my heart to see others set free, and I stand in Christ’s authority on a mission to win souls for the Kingdom of God. He has told me to clear my stuff out and make the light load, wait on Him, and be ready to go. I’m listening to Him. I say, Yes Lord, Your will, Your way.

You can read Dawn’s blog here: www.dawnlynnmann.com/feed

You can access Dawn’s Facebook group here: www.facebook.com/groups/bondagefree

© 2021 Dawn Lynn Mann. Printed in the Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc. newsletter with permission.

There is Hope

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” - Jesus in John 16:33 NIV

Imaged used under license with www.shutterstock.com.

Lately I’ve found myself returning to John 16:33 for comfort. To say that we are in stressful times is a cosmic understatement. As Christians, we know that our only peace is in Jesus Christ, but sometimes we have a hard time walking that out. Worry and uncertainty make many of us more susceptible to the temptations and sin that “so easily trips us up” (Hebrews 12:1 NLT). If you’ve found your battle with sexual sin and broken relationships increasing lately, reach out for help. Don’t give in to the false comfort of pornography, anonymous encounters, or codependency. Jesus can bring you peace and give you strength to live for Him.

I was reminded of the precious love of Jesus a few days ago as I was privileged to share my testimony of overcoming sexual abuse and unwanted homosexuality at a Celebrate Recovery meeting in Saginaw. As I was sharing my story of growing up in pain and trying to make that pain go away through sin, I could see the hurt in many faces. I could sense that they understood the journey. These brothers and sisters knew what it was like to experience pain – some self-inflicted, some inflicted by others – and try to make that pain go away through sin. They knew the futility of it. They were also experiencing the beautiful love and transformation of Jesus Christ to heal our hearts and empower us to rise above the pain and live for Him. The love that Jesus has for everyone in that room is overwhelming.

Jesus has that same love for you. If you are struggling with sexual sin, the effects of abuse, or you’re trying again to find peace in the arms of another; look towards Christ. Reach out for help. We at Reconciliation Ministries understand the journey. Our next session of Living Waters is on January 25th. Living Waters can help you experience Jesus in a powerful way, and experience freedom. We have special tuition discounts due to the challenges of COVID, and we will be following COVID protocols for safety. We also offer licensed counseling and prayer ministry. Call us at 586.739.5114, and let us walk with you to Jesus. He loves you. He can change your life.