All of us at one point or another will experience the crushing that Proverbs 13:12 refers to. It may be the dashed hope of a lost loved one repenting and returning to Christ, unanswered cries for physical healing, or the unfulfilled hope for freedom from painful thoughts that we just can’t seem to shake. We know Jesus could swoop in and change our situation in an instant. But He doesn’t. For whatever reason. Our hopes are deferred. It ain’t happennen… At least for now.
What is our response during those tough seasons? Can we sincerely rest in the Lord, and trust that He is working in our hearts even if we don’t understand why He isn’t moving the way we think He should? Do we get ticked off at Him? Are we like the man who seemingly waits in vain at the pool of Bethesda for 38 years, not even sure why he’s still there? Can we trust that in spite of the unanswered prayers… the deferred hope… for whatever we are longing for, the Lord is doing something deeper in our hearts that is much more important that the thing we are immediately focused on. Most of the time He doesn’t share the details. Sometimes, years down the road, we realize what He was doing in while we were in the wilderness. Sometimes we never figure it out. No matter the case, He is faithful. He does care about you and has your best interested at heart. May our hearts remain open to Him, even when we don’t understand Him.
I’m in a season now where the Lord is beginning to revive lost hope. There was a desire and vision that I truly believe the Lord placed in my heart. It was precious to me. It was also dashed to pieces. Very small pieces. Not only was hope deferred, it was lost. My heart was sick. In some ways, it is still healing. And now, I see the Lord beginning to set things in order to step once again into that vision. At times I find myself excited that He is resurrecting things. Other times, I find myself afraid to hope again. I don’t want my hopes dashed. I don’t want to run ahead of Him, pull a Moses, and spend 40 years wandering the wilderness. I don’t want to pull an Abraham and create an Ishmael. But I do want the Lord to do whatever it is that He wants to do in my heart and my life.
If you’re like me, you may sense a pain in your heart when you see others stepping into their vision. Part of you is happy for them, yet part of you still feels the sting. You may wonder why it isn’t you. Try to remember during those times that you are seeing their excitement. You aren’t seeing the years of deferred hope and painful losses that they likely experienced while they were waiting to be in the place they are now. If you know them well enough to ask them, they may be able to share some of those details with you. In time, they may even be able to share some of the deeper things the Lord was doing in their hearts during their time of waiting.