A Captive Set Free - Cassie Giroux

Cassie has been a valuable member of the Living Waters ministry team for many years.  She and her husband, Larry, serve on the Reconciliation Ministries Living Waters team, and coordinate a second Living Waters program near Oakland University. Cassie has experienced the depths of despair, and the great love of our Heavenly Father. Her life is a wonderful testimony of the grace, redemption, and transformational power of Jesus Christ. This article shares her personal experience as a human trafficking survivor, and her reaction to the movie, The Sound of Freedom.

“He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives.”

Luke 4:18b CSB

There was a strange quiet walking out of the movie, Sound of Freedom.  Fourteen of us from my family went and we are not usually quiet.  We drove several cars, but my ride home was marked by complete silence.  I am not sure what everyone was thinking.  I thought that the producers handled a devastating topic with prudence, while bringing stark awareness to an unknown reality that traps so many people.  I could not help but think back to when I was 15 years old and got sucked into the undercurrent of human trafficking.

My childhood home was a joyful place in many respects.  My stepdad married my mom just before I turned three.  She and I were baptized, which brought the happiness of faith, church attendance and regular prayer into my life.  Everything was better with my stepdad, except for the continued involvement with the sexual predators on my mom’s side of the family.       

My older sister said that the sexual abuse started for me when I was still in diapers.  She hid in fear of these relatives, but I sought them out.  I enjoyed the sexual attention, along with the cigarettes, drugs and alcohol that followed as I got a little older.  It was a double life for me early on, as I was drawn to this wickedness, while treasuring the good from my new dad.

They often said, “Don’t tell your mom or dad or they will kill me.”  It is cruel to burden a child with a violation and the task of protecting the violator.  This severed my heart from the love of my parents and my church, as I kept silent. 

By the time I was 12 years old, drug and alcohol abuse was a regular part of my life.  My parents left no stone unturned trying to find help for me.  At 14, they learned about a “treatment” center through a nearby church.  This church endorsement was what my parents needed to cement their trust.  They were unaware of the brutality and deceitfulness of those people.

I was taken 275 miles south to a warehouse.  I would spend over 100 hours a week locked in that building and several hours each night locked in a foster/host home.  Over the next 17 months I stayed at 27 different homes.

As a result of my first two escapes, I met men who offered shelter and understanding.  It was as if they waited in the downtown plaza to help kids like me.  This was my first introduction to sexual slavery and the making of violent porn.  The silence that had concealed the shock, pain, sorrow, and shame of sexual abuse remained.  On both occasions, I was arrested and returned to the torture of the warehouse.  The third escape would be my last.

Returning home was not an option, because my parents did not believe the many stories of abuse within the warehouse.   My travels covered 4,223 miles, in the dark underside of many cities where people are bought and sold.  I could not help but be grateful while watching Sound of Freedom that I was not a little child like those in the movie, but I have seen this on our own soil.  I have seen little children torn from their parents to satisfy sinful appetites and perversions.  Parents were taken to sweatshops or farms unless the mother could be used in other ways.

My heart breaks when reading the attacks on this movie, calling it a “conspiracy theory.”  How I wish that were true.  That my young life was only a bad dream, along with so many others.  People have told me as much.  I often wondered why no one came to help.  Why did these men, many of whom were husbands, fathers, and brothers, not offer help?  Why did they not call the authorities or ask where my parents were?  Instead, they took another piece of me away and returned to their lives.

One of my owners tried to explain this to me.  He wrote on my heart like it was a blank slate.  Some of the things that he said stayed with me for many years.  His lies “helped me” to make sense of things.  “You save marriages and protect young girls from sexual abuse because you are not a person.  If they did this to a real person, it would be wrong, but you are a machine made for sex.”  He also told me that I would never see my family again, never marry or have children, and that I would die young.  When I could no longer hide that I did in fact become a mother, the child in my womb was stomped by his boot heel.  My body had become a tomb.

As the hours and days passed, marked by disintegration and terrible aloneness, it felt as if I was getting farther and farther from home, and any hope of ever returning.  It seemed nothing was left of me to return home anyway.  I was a shell.  When I started out, I kept count of my sexual partners.  I am not sure why, but it seemed important.  I lost track in the 400’s when I realized that it did not matter; I did not matter.

Our Heavenly Father was not going to let the enemy have the last word in my heart.  “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18.

I was in Las Vegas, working long hours for gun toting thugs like those depicted in the movie, and God parted the waters for me.  The story of my escape will not fit in this article, but I declare that our God is faithful, true, and His love is powerful!  I returned to my family at 17 years old.  They did not send me back to the warehouse.  Several months later, my mom found a church with a 12-step recovery meeting, and I went.

Fast forward to 2012.  I was married for 26 years to a good man, the mother of 14 wonderful children, a grandmother, active in church, and 27 years clean and sober.  Something else happened that year; my stepdad adopted me.  I was 45 years old and was thankful for my new life.  Our generous Father let my heart be turned upside down until I could not take the pain anymore.  This all seemed so ridiculous, like I should be past this, stronger than this, not to mention grateful.  Somehow, God was calling me to bring Him my secret darkness and to receive my inheritance as His beloved daughter.

In my quiet search for the cheapest Christian counselor, I stumbled onto Dan Hitz at Reconciliation Ministries.  I was embarrassed even to call.  I thought this sort of thing demonstrated a lack of faith and a terrible character deficit.  Not the first time I was wrong, and I am sure it has not been the last. God’s loving hand was parting more waters, making way for more freedom. After about six sessions, Dan released me and recommended Living Waters. I was not sure about gathering and working with people from different churches, but I trusted Dan.  That was an act of God because I usually trusted no one.  I went through two sessions as a participant and then was invited onto their team.  I am still there, because there is nothing quite like the sound of chains breaking, The Sound of Freedom!

Words cannot express the change and healing that have come to my heart, and to my whole family.  God’s word, His power, and His love have taken on new meaning for me.  Very deep wounds have become trophies of grace.  He really is kind and merciful!

 "What I tell you in the dark, utter in the light; and what you hear whispered, proclaim upon the house tops."

Matthew 10:27 RSV

Cassie speaking at an overcoming Strongholds seminar in 2020.

When I think of my future, I think of the house top. I spent so many years identifying as a "freak of nature," and I am finished with enemy’s lies over my identity.  My heart breaks for others when I see this prison, the enemy narrative, stealing and destroying every good thing.  I will speak louder, I will speak the Word of God, the power of His love to change everything. Jesus purchased me with His blood, and I praise Him and thank Him, out loud with my eyes fixed on Him.

If you have been objectified and abused by human trafficking, there is freedom and restoration in Jesus.  His love can heal you and He uses the people who serve Him.  There are hotlines for current victims and help from law enforcement.  I was set free from the foul residue years later by the prayer ministry at Reconciliation Ministries and Desert Stream/Living Waters.  God has servants everywhere. Find Him, find them; find them, find Him. He has not forsaken you, He never will.

 “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

John 8:36 ESV

 If you or someone you love needs help, call the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 888.373.7888, or visit them online at www.humantraffickinghotline.org.

You can also text 233733.

                    Photo of sad girl and woman on bed used under license with www.shutterstock.com.

© 2023 Cassie Giroux. This article was printed with the express permission of Cassie Giroux.

at www.mendingthesoul.org. A workbook is available.

Jesus Heals the Brokenhearted: Empowered through Relationship

This newsletter is based on a teaching Dan Hitz presented at New Hope Assembly of God in Taylor, Michigan on March 5, 2023. Dan is the director of Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in overcoming unwanted LGBTQ issues, sexual abuse recovery, and trauma. Dan is an ordained minister, EMDR trained, and a Clinically Certified Trauma Professional. He began his journey out of homosexuality in 1984.

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.”

Luke 4:18-19 NKJV

Jesus was reading from the book of Isaiah in Luke 4:18-19 when He proclaimed that He has come to heal the brokenhearted. Those verses are among my favorite in Scripture. In the original language, the term “brokenhearted” means shards of glass as if you broke a mirror. That’s what many of our hearts are like – jagged shards of glass. Jesus came to heal our shattered hearts.

Dan at about five years old

I had a lot of shards of glass in my heart when I came to Christ in 1984. I was born to a paranoid schizophrenic mother who molested me before I entered kindergarten. The abuse started up again in middle school and lasted until early high school. My dad was a nice guy in general, but I shut my heart off to him when he was having a rough day and scolded me for asking too many questions. Since I shut my heart off from him, I couldn’t receive the masculine infilling that fathers are meant to give to their sons. That left me vulnerable to an older boy who abused me when I was about five or six. He made it fun at first. When he wanted me to do things I didn’t want to do, it turned coercive and shaming. I was raised in the church. It was confusing when what was talked about at church didn’t match up with what was going on at home. I knew right from wrong. In middle school, I realized that I liked the boys more than the girls. That was a problem. The abuse from my mother was threatening and aggressive. I wanted to have a normal family, but I was afraid of women. My high school and college years were full of dual attractions. I tried to have a girlfriend, but I wanted a boyfriend more. I desperately wanted a male to fill the huge masculine void I had in my heart. That didn’t work. Eventually I became bulimic. I couldn’t eat enough to fill up the void. Sexual encounters with men couldn’t fill up the void. I was truly empty.

When I got saved in 1984 the bulimia fell away instantly. Jesus began to fill the void. I didn’t need to binge anymore. I was excited and thought that the homosexual attractions that I loved and hated would instantly go away too. I was full of shame and condemnation when they didn’t. Jesus did indeed come to heal my broken heart, but He does things His way not ours. He calmed my fear of women enough to bring me a beautiful wife. She is still my wife today, some 38 years later, but even marriage doesn’t cure same-sex attraction. Only Jesus heals the brokenhearted. After about 15 years of trying to fix myself my way, I finally surrendered to God and asked Him to do whatever it took to heal my heart His way. That was the beginning of a challenging journey of recovery. A journey of learning more and more about God the Father’s heart, Jesus my Savior, and the Holy Spirit who leads me to all truth. The more I open my heart and surrender to the Lord, the more He transforms me into His image. He continues to empower me to stand as the redeemed man of God that He knit together in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). Her mental illness and demonic oppression couldn’t destroy the Lord’s plan for my life.

God could have taken my homosexual attractions away instantly, but He wanted to teach me to be completely dependent upon Him. He wanted to teach me to “ fight the good fight for the true faith.” (1 Timothy 6:12 NLT) This seems to be His way. As revivals are popping up around the world, there will be some who will be instantly delivered from sins that have defeated them for years. There will be many more who will enter into the battle of Judges 3:1-2 NLT, “1 These are the nations that the Lord left in the land to test those Israelites who had not experienced the wars of Canaan. 2 He did this to teach warfare to generations of Israelites who had no experience in battle.” When we’re surrendered to sin, we aren’t fighting. The Lord specifically left some enemies in the Promised Land in order to teach those who had not formerly fought any battles, how to fight. It seems He also leaves enemies in our Promised Land to teach us to fight. The only way to be successful in the battle is to know the heart of the Father. The only way to know the heart of the Father is through relationship.

The idea that homosexuality or transgender identities are sinful isn’t very popular in our culture today. Unfortunately, it isn’t popular in many Christian denominations either. Jesus was pretty clear about God’s design for sexuality. “‘Haven’t you read the Scriptures?’ Jesus replied. ‘They record that from the beginning “God made them male and female.”’ And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. ’” (Matthew 19:4-5 NIV) God ordains physical sexual expression to be exercised solely within the marriage covenant between one biologically born male and one biologically born female. He created us as male and female, not non-binary, gender fluid, or transgender. There are some people who have ambiguous genitalia or chromosomal abnormalities; however, these are scientifically verifiable and observable anomalies. They are not subjectively determined through emotional perception.

Many LGBTQ advocates will claim that homosexual attractions and transgender identities are biologically fixed and unchangeable. They claim that if we try to get counseling to change our orientation or to embrace our birth gender, we’ll become suicidal. That isn’t what the research shows. Multiple peer reviewed studies report the opposite. A study conducted by Joseph Nicolosi and others in 2000 found that even those who didn’t experience a significant shift in their sexual attractions reported improvement in their emotional well-being.1 Jay Greene, Ph.D., senior research fellow in the Heritage Foundation’s Center for Education Policy, found that transgender affirming treatments actually increase suicide risk. 2 You can read more about what research shows regarding change allowing therapy for unwanted same-sex attraction and gender confusion online at https://recmin.org/s/Research-for-SSA-and-GD-221202.pdf in the article “What Does Research Conclude About Counseling for Unwanted Same-Sex Attraction and Gender Dysphoria?”

The Bible gives us hope for transformation in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 NLT:

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 NLT 9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. 11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

What does the journey out of sexual brokenness and into sexual wholeness look like? My own journey has led me through several seasons of Living Waters, professional therapy, and countless hours of prayer ministry. It requires us to open our hearts to the Lord and safe others and be honest about our desires, our wounds, our sins. It requires us to deny our flesh, take up our cross, and follow Jesus (Matthew 16:24). Denying ourselves – our fleshly desires – isn’t easy. That is one of the many places where we learn to fight. It is one of the many places where we need to accept the Lord’s invitation in Isaiah 1:18 NKJV, “‘Come now, and let us reason together,’ says the Lord, ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.’” Reasoning implies disagreement, or at least a debate of ideas. When we are tempted, emotionally distraught, or struggling in the battle, the Lord invites us to reason with Him. He wants to hear our heart. He wants relationship. He ties that time of reasoning to our victory in the battle over sin. Relationship with Him transforms hearts that are stained like scarlet into hearts that are purified as new fallen snow.

dan receiving prayer at the leaders’ day during restored hope network’s HOPE 2022 conference.

The battle is won through relationship with the Lord. Sometimes that relationship occurs as we meet with Him one on one. Other times, our relationship with the Lord is developed as He meets us through His body – through other Christian brothers and sisters. The thought of honest, vulnerable relationship can be frightening to those of us who have been abused in relationship. That’s one of the areas where we may need to reason with the Lord and ask Him to help us know who to trust, and how to trust. We are wounded in relationship, and the Lord brings us healing in relationship. That’s Jesus’ heart for those who follow Him. Towards the end of His earthly ministry, He gave us a new commandment, “‘Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.’” (John 13:34-35 NLT) Learning to love and trust others takes work. Often, it’s part of the battle. It takes relationship with the Father to learn to trust, forgive, and love.

The Lord has brought me a lot of healing through my individual prayer times with Him; yet, He has brought me far more healing as He flows through other imperfect people in the Body of Christ. He has brought healing from the father wound through the older men in the church who have spoken into my life. He has brought healing from sexual abuse through safe men and women who have sat with me in the pain of the abuse and walked with me to Jesus. He has healed me from the mother wound through relationships with safe, godly women who prayed for me and spoke words of encouragement. None of these people brought healing through human effort. They were godly vessels who allowed the grace of God to flow through them. None of them were perfect. Neither am I. Sometimes we offend each other. As we learn to rely on God and walk in humility, we learn to work through our differences and forgive one another. That brings further healing and further victory. Victory through relationship.

Through the years, the shards of glass in my heart have become smoother. Many of the broken pieces have been joined back together. This is a lifelong process. Jesus has healed the wounds of abuse from my mother by meeting me in the memories – in the pain – and cleansing me with His blood. In one memory, I could see Him picking me up after the abuse and wrapping me in a white blanket. He held me lovingly and comforted me. In another memory, I felt like I could never be cleansed of the dirtiness of the abuse. The Lord moved in and I could feel the power of the Holy Spirit pushing the shame and dirtiness out of me from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. Years after my father passed away, the Lord helped me to open my heart back up to my dad, at least in my memories of him. He showed me ways that my father did reach out to me and speak truth and empowerment into my heart. The older I get, the more I appreciate my earthly father. The Lord has healed the pain of being abused by the older boy as He brings many safe men into my life that I can be honest and vulnerable with. These are godly men who know me in my strengths as well as my weaknesses. They don’t take advantage of my brokenness, but walk with me to Jesus where I can receive even more healing. The Lord has given me the family that I truly wanted deep down in my heart. My wife is my best friend. Our family has had its challenges through the years. We have had tragedy. We have had blessing. Through it all, my wife and I have walked to Jesus for His help. Rather than being defeated by the challenges of life, He has empowered us to stand strong in the battle and find our strength in Him. He continues to give us beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3). He truly does heal the brokenhearted.

Everyone’s healing journey is different. Some challenges may continue in your life that haven’t continued in mine, and vice versa. Whether the Lord calms the storms in your life, or walks with you in the raging storms, He is faithful. He will never give up on you. In the words of Philippians 1:6 NLT, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

If we at Reconciliation Ministries can help you in any way, call us at 586.739.5114. We offer biblically based professional therapy, prayer ministry, mental health coaching, and support groups to help you on your journey.

References:

1 Nicolosi, J., Byrd, A.D., and Potts, R.W. (2000) Retrospective self-reports of changes in homosexual orientation: A consumer survey of conversion therapy clients. Psychological Reports, 86, 1071-1088.

2 Green, Jay. (2022) Puberty Blockers, Cross-Sex Hormones, and Youth Suicide. The Heritage Foundation June 13, 2022. Retrieved from https://www.heritage.org/gender/report/puberty-blockers-cross-sex-hormones-and-youth-suicide on 12/19/2022.

Photo of broken mirror used under license with www.shutterstock.com. Photos of baptism and man in blue shirt courtesy of www.unsplash.com.

© 2023 Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc. This article may be reproduced and distributed as long as no fee is charged and credit is given.

Lives are Changed through the Living Waters Program

Living Waters is a Christ-centered discipleship/ministry program for men and women seeking healing in areas of sexual and relational brokenness; including pornography addiction, codependency, sexual addiction, homosexuality, sexual ambivalence, childhood sexual abuse, transgender issues, and difficulty in establishing and sustaining healthy relationships.  Our next program is starting soon.

Here are some powerful testimonies from participants who had their lives changed through the power of Jesus Christ in the Living Waters program. They are used with the permission of the participants.

I’ve learned that it is ok to bring God into my pain; that I need to fully integrate my emotional health with my spiritual life.  I’ve also learned that my identity is not that of an “abused”, or a “victim” or a “codependent” or a “homosexual”, but that my identity is that of a child of God and it does not rest in my feelings about myself, other people, or relationships – but solely in who God says I am.

A female participant.

I found Living Waters in a crisis of my marriage falling apart for many reasons, but one was because of my same-sex attraction. I didn’t know which end was up at the time. However, I knew that I need to start the path to dealing with my same-sex attraction in whatever way God wanted it dealt with. Living Waters was the start of the path God and I went down.

I have dealt with same-sex attraction since I was very young. It became sexualized in middle school. There were often dark times in my life because of the same-sex attraction. I tried things a couple of times in my teens but later on knew that acting on my same-sex attraction with guys just couldn’t happen. That didn’t stop me from looking at porn and masturbating, but I thought that since I wasn’t doing anything with anybody else that I’m somehow or somewhat okay. My addiction would come and go with intensity, but it was always there. I always vowed to never be involved physically with a guy.

Fast forward to being married. My wife knew from the start that I struggled with same-sex attraction. Later on we experienced a situation that focused attention on my same-sex attraction that lead to further breakdown of our marriage and my wife choosing to be done. Prior to our split, I went through about four months of identity crisis, questioning God if He was okay if I began pursuing a same-sex relationship. My wife was challenging me to embrace how I was “really made”. Ultimately, I knew deep down that God didn’t want me living that way. I knew that I needed help to actively pursue a different course, one that acknowledges that God hasn’t made people to have same-sex relationships. I’m pursuing God with everything in me and learning, thanks to Living Waters, how to approach life in a healthy way.

A male participant.

I came to Living Waters looking for healing from past molestation, abuse, and neglect; but I found so much more. Not only were those wounds recognized and visited, but Living Waters dug much deeper, beyond those wounds, to the places those wounds damaged the most. Up until this amazing ministry I thought I simply had to get past my past, past those obvious hurts, ask God to heal me, and move on. The truth is, there was much more than healing that needed to be done. Not only were there deeper wounds that had been festering for years beneath the obvious ones, but those wounds had changed me into someone I didn’t even recognize anymore. A person who covered her wounds with sexual acts, who pushed others away before they got too close to see the broken pieces, whose filters were so flawed she thought even the kindest acts were there to laugh at her, and who criticized both men and women for being both too masculine and too feminine.

Before Living Waters, I didn’t even  know who I was, I had hidden myself so well behind my layers of broken protection, that I couldn’t even find myself… but God found me. He found me buried in the rubble, He gently scrubbed my wounds, and bandaged them in both Grace and Mercy. I am still a work in process, I still have wounds and flaws, but I also have Hope. I may remain somewhat uncertain as to who I am – I have seen glimpses of her, and she is beautiful – but I know without a doubt whose I am. I know God will continue His work in me. Thank you, Living Waters, I thank God for you all.

A female participant.

While enduring a terrible marriage I was looking for a way to relieve the huge amount of stress in my life.  One night on my way home from night school, the evil one suggested that I do something that I had quit doing many years before – cross dressing.  I jumped at the chance and soon could no longer satisfy my cravings with occasional dressing up, so I got a divorce and began living as a woman.  I eventually succumbed totally and had surgery in my efforts to look more and more like a woman.  I still was not satisfied but could do nothing else to myself.  Then God worked through a friend of mine and got me involved in a group that opened my eyes and began clearing my head.  After a year of this I resolved to go back to being a man but knew I needed help.  By God’s grace I found Living Waters and am now solidly grounded in Christ and living completely as a man.

A male participant.

If you or someone you love is struggling with sexual or relational difficulties, there is hope and healing through the power of Jesus Christ.  Call us and ask about attending the next Living Waters program. (586) 739-5114 

The pictures used in this article are not the actual participants. Photos acquired through www.unsplash.com.

© Reconciliation Ministries 2019.  This article may be reproduced and distributed as long as credit is given and no fee is charged.

Caught in the Crossfire

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30 NLT

Maybe you’ve been as troubled as I have watching the confirmation process for the latest Supreme Court nominee. He has had multiple allegations brought against him for sexually abusive behavior during his high school and college years. The media has surely done its part to stir up the hype, and keep emotions triggered and their ratings high. At this point, all I can say is that God knows the truth and we will all stand before Him and give an account on Judgement Day. I have to admit that my own emotions have been triggered too, so I will now do my best to let the Lord sort this out. He knows if the accusations are true or false. He knows if the denials are true or false. May God’s will be done.

As much as my heart goes out to both of the main individuals involved in this debate, my heart goes out even more to two groups of people who are caught in the crossfire. I am very concerned about the impact of this media debacle on those who have been sexually abused themselves. I’m also concerned for those who have sexually offended. Through the years, Reconciliation Ministries has had the privilege of ministering to precious souls in both groups. No one is beyond the tender mercies of our God. No one. No one is beyond repentance, restoration, and healing. No one.

My main concern with those who have been sexually abused is that many in the media – and many in the general public – have given the clear message that if you come forward; you will not be believed, you will be interrogated; and unless you remember every single, specific detail of your abuse, you will become the suspect. How many of us remember every single detail of any of the milestone events in our lives? The reality is that many abuse survivors have learned to suppress memories of traumatic events to survive. They may start drinking, drugging, or living in deception to cope with the abuse. Some even put themselves in high risk situations to “reenact” their abuse. These are only a few of the unfortunate aftereffects of trauma that defense lawyers pounce on as they defend their guilty clients. Details such as the timeline leading up to the abuse doesn’t seem important when it is happening, so we don’t commit those details to our long-term memories. It is very common not to report the abuse for many years – if at all. We are seeing some of the reasons. Reports of abuse may be met with fierce anger, denial, or revenge. Being told things like, “You’re making it up!” or “That could never have happened!” by those we confide in is almost as traumatic as the abuse itself. To this group of wounded brothers and sisters I say, “You have safe, Christian men and women at Reconciliation Ministries who will hear you and walk with you as you receive healing in Christ.” We won’t judge you, or criticize you. We will listen to you and pray with you. Many of us have walked that painful road ourselves.

My heart also goes out to the men and women who do admit that they have offended, and are now trying to live a repentant, godly life. There are numerous men and women out there who realize they need help, but are fearful of the repercussions if they admit their offenses. Part of the concern is very real. All counselors and pastoral care personnel are required by law to report suspected acts of child abuse if there is an identifiable victim, and if the victim is still under 18 years of age; even if the alleged incident happened over ten years ago. This helps those affected by abuse get the help they desperately need, but it also makes it much harder for offenders to reach out for help. Through the years there have been a number of individuals who were repentant and brave enough to come forward even though they signed a form acknowledging the mandated reporting of suspected acts of child abuse. What I can tell you is that there are many more men and women who have committed a sexual offense well past the age requirements of reporting. They have confessed to God, but are walking around in bondage to shame and condemnation. They are truly remorseful and repentant. They admit their sin and make no excuses for their past behavior. However, they live in fear of being found out and being labeled as someone below plankton on the food chain. The media coverage of the confirmation proceedings bears this out. In the area of sexual offenses, not only is one often “guilty until proven innocent”; he or she is likely to be “guilty” in the minds of anyone who finds out that there was an allegation against him or her – even if it is dropped. Another unfortunately message of the latest media frenzy is that people can’t change. Even if the incident happened ten, twenty, or thirty years ago, there is no room for the transformation of Christ in the minds of many. Fortunately, the Holy Spirit truly can change any heart that is submitted to Him. If you are one of the many men and women who have sexually offended, or are tempted to offend, please get the help and healing that Jesus Christ willingly died to provide for you. Reconciliation Ministries is here for you too. We have had the honor of walking to the mercy seat of Jesus with many who were on the sex offender registry, others who have been in the legal system; and those who had not offended, but were struggling with the temptations. Help is available for anyone who opens their heart to Jesus. Help is available for you too.

Reconciliation Ministries also recognizes that it may be difficult for those who have experienced the trauma of sexual abuse to hear that we have grace and mercy on a group of people that represent others who have caused their pain. I am a pastoral caregiver and licensed therapist. I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Some of my close family members are also abuse survivors. The Lord had to change my own heart when He first called me to work with those who have committed sexual abuse. I found out then that it is much easier for us Christians to say, “Without the grace of God, there go I,” than it is to live it. I have also seen the power of our loving Savior to forgive and transform anyone who is repentant and who surrenders their lives to Jesus. I have seen the power of Jesus transform many hearts that society was willing to throw away, and turn them into living examples of the power of the cross. No one is beyond the redemption and transformational power of Jesus Christ. No one.

So I say to those of you who have been sexually abused, “Reconciliation Ministries is here for you. We will walk with you to Jesus and help you get the healing and restoration that you need.” I say to those who have offended, or are tempted to offend, “Reconciliation Ministries is here for you as well. We will walk with you to Jesus and help you get the healing and transformation that you need.” Reconciliation Ministries provides a safe, confidential, Christian environment where you can share your heart, receive compassion, and talk with others who have had similar experiences.

If you or someone you know needs help, call Reconciliation Ministries at 586.739.5114. Our next session of Living Waters will be starting soon. We also have licensed professional counseling and prayer ministry available. We are here to help you.

In Christ, Dan Hitz, Director, Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc.

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Our next session of Living Waters is starting soon. There is help for those struggling with sexual and relationship issues, and for those overcoming abuse. Call 586.739.5114