Lives Are Changed through the Living Waters Program.

Living Waters is a Christ-centered discipleship/ministry program for men and women seeking healing in areas of sexual and relational brokenness; including pornography addiction, codependency, sexual addiction, homosexuality, sexual ambivalence, childhood sexual abuse, transgender issues, and difficulty in establishing and sustaining healthy relationships.  Our next program is starting soon.

Here are some powerful testimonies from participants who had their lives changed through the power of Jesus Christ in the Living Waters program. They are used with the permission of the participants.

“Living Waters saved my life,
my marriage, and my soul.”

“Through Living Waters I discovered more of who I am in Christ, so that I would choose to live for Him and not my flesh. I am free.”

 

 “I came to Living Waters hoping it would ‘fix me’. What I found was not what I was looking for, but what I needed… and that was hope. It has been a tough, but rewarding 24 weeks.”

 

When I came to Living Waters, I was at the end of my rope. I had resolved to divorce my wife and embrace a gay lifestyle – and a fringe lifestyle even within that. I was going to try to be a good father to my three kids, and financially support my wife, but I was going to leave God and my marriage.

I was unhopeful that Living Waters would “help”. I’d been in similar ministries, and was still deep in sin. But the Lord met me. Through meeting with other men with similar and related struggles, engaging in brutally honest accountability, and in particular praying with, anointing, and laying hands on one another, the Lord met me, revealed new truths about Him, me and our relationship.

I am still struggling with strong desires. But my behaviors are more under control. I see in vivid detail that the path I almost took would have led to death and destruction, while God offers life and healing. I still have a long road ahead, but trust Him to deliver and restore me.

A male participant.

I came to Living Waters saved but broken. I was struggling to overcome lusts of the flesh and entertaining a toxic relationship while battle a cancer diagnosis. The Lord began speaking to me regarding the sickness and disease. Exodus 15:26. Every week during Living Waters the Lord reiterated that I am a child of God. How much I am loved and cared for by Him. Along with being set free from the bondage I was in, I was also healed of a stage four cancer diagnosis!!! I thank God for all that He is doing.

A female participant.

I came to Living Waters seeking deeper healing from God. He had already done so much healing and revealing truth that was so hidden and buried deep beneath the ground. But I wanted to go right down into the core of my inner being in the depths of God’s healing hand. He has done that and so much more. I have never felt the Love of God and other’s hearts shining that love as I did here. The heart of the Spirit truly was flooded through the atmosphere. The greatest healing I received from the Lord was in our small group when I just spoke straight from the heart of different times of sexual abuse/assault from a dark past. The group leader wept with me as I took her hand and spoke the pain into the cross where Jesus bore it all and took it upon Himself. We waited silently as Jesus spoke so gently ending with, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” I am no longer fearful of men from the devastation that led to living a past life of homosexuality. My past is gone – washed by the precious blood of Jesus.

A female participant.

 

I came to Living Waters broken and in despair. I had been living a double life with anonymous sexual encounters with men. I am married with a beautiful family and have gotten infected with HIV. It has been an incredible struggle dealing with this. I have been faithful since my diagnosis, and have experienced deep healing and deliverance. I have come a long way on my journey. My marriage is stronger than ever. God has been so amazing to me. Living Waters has been a big part of my recovery and healing process.

A male participant.

 

Through Living Waters I found that I had many characteristics that I needed to change. This has opened my eyes and heart to see myself through His eyes. I am ever grateful for Living Waters.

A female participant.

 “I now have more peace than ever before.”

If you or someone you love is struggling with
sexual or relational difficulties, there is
hope and healing through the power of
Jesus Christ.  Call us and ask about attending
the next Living Waters program. (586) 739-5114

 

The pictures used in this article are not the actual participants. Photos acquired through www.unsplash.com.

© Reconciliation Ministries 2018.  This article may be reproduced and distributed as long as credit is given and no fee is charged.

Pornography: The False Escape

This article was written by a member of the Reconciliation Ministries Living Waters leadership team. They are a group of “wounded healers” who have fought their own battle with sexual and relational brokenness, and who have experienced the healing power of Jesus Christ. If you or someone you love is struggling with sexual sin, call Reconciliation Ministries at 586.739.5114 and let us walk with you to Jesus.

I never thought of porn use as a problem.  It was something that “didn’t hurt anyone” and was “safe”.  In High School it was normal for guys to talk about their favorites, which made it seem like everyone did it, like it was normal and natural.  What I didn’t know: I was using porn like a drug to keep me away from my emotions and distancing me from God.  As time went on it increasingly pushed me to isolation and made me feel more and more depressed, fueling a cycle I didn’t know about or understand.  Because I was so wrapped up in denial and isolation I didn’t think about how it would impact those around me either, and I never thought about my distant relationship with God.  Realizing porn use as a problem and even addiction was like lifting a heavy fog in front of me, dispelling all the lies I accepted as my truth.

For most of my life I grew up in an environment of neglect and a lack of responsibility.  My parents were both responsible adults, but they did not feel responsible for raising their kids well.  My parents were divorced when I was young and both neglected me, and while they were married there was a clear pattern of physical and verbal abuse.  After the divorce, I lived with my mother for most of the time and she had a very co-dependent relationship with me.  I was the man of the house, even though I wasn’t even a teen yet, and she would share whatever was on her mind, unloading her negative emotions on me.  She was very controlling and focused on perfection, which drove me to be uninterested in doing anything.  During High School I remember crying out for help and my mother took me to be tested for Bi-Polar disorder.  I was not diagnosed with any disorders, but through the discussion the therapist found some issues and suggested some books on parenting and some parenting tweaks.  My mother lied and said she already read them and was a great parent.  Any problem I had came across as an attack on her parenting and she would go into denial and shut me out, often crying in an attempt to manipulate me.  My father didn’t really want to be a father. He only agreed to pick me up every other weekend because it would reduce the child-support he had to pay. He continued to complain about the payments, my mother, and the annoyance of having to pick me up until I was a legal adult.  He was uninterested in being a dad for the most part, and years later told me he didn’t have the time to be a dad so he would try to just be a decent friend to get me on his side.  If I had a question, I would be told to ask the other parent. Since I never got any answers, I stopped asking the questions and tried to figure things out on my own.  Once I realized I couldn’t reach perfection I stopped trying in school. I felt unwanted, and even worse, like a burden wherever I was.  I never felt like I had a home, I felt like I was just visiting someone.

Spiritually my mother believed in going to church when she felt guilty enough, and my father created his own religion focused on himself.  Needless to say, my parents didn’t care about my relationship with God and actually instilled a strong sense of skepticism in me. I felt like God was only there to punish me and rid me with guilt, or that God wasn’t real at all.  Despite my confusing outlook on God, there were also times when I felt like God was there for me, even if I didn’t understand it or accept it.  Thankfully he shielded me from drugs and getting into trouble as a youth.  It wasn’t until late in High School that I started to regularly go to church, when my now wife demanded I go to church with her if we were to continue dating.  It wasn’t until a few years later that I could actually call myself a Christian, working through the doubt and skepticism, and God is still working in me.

As time went on I felt more and more alone and turned to escape mechanisms to get away from my negative feelings.  I turned to porn and videogames mostly, jumping into fantasy worlds where I was the most important person and felt I had control.  My father introduced me to videogames as a way to connect, and we had little else to talk about.  I didn’t think about the negative impact porn had in my life until I married my wife.  I expected marriage to take away all the problems in my life.  I wouldn’t have to deal with my parents at all if I didn’t want to, and I’d have real and right intimacy with my wife.  I fully expected the desire to watch porn to disappear, but it got worse.  My wife and I were not connecting as well as I thought; we had more stresses as we were living together for the first time and were both busy figuring out our lives together.  I doubled down and watched more porn, shut out my wife, and reinforced my addiction through that negative cycle. 

My wife and I had pretty bad fights every week for the next seven months, and at one point I just broke and explained what was going on.  She was incredibly hurt and filed for divorce, which I agreed was not ridiculous or undeserved.  She said I had six months to show major improvement or she would continue with the divorce, which was a great show of grace to me.  The next six months we fought almost every day in the worst possible way.  I found a therapy-based program that gave me some tools to fight my temptations.  The program was useful in day-to-day living, but I felt something was missing.  It focused on tools and tricks to get through life and involved prayer, but made it very clear healing was not an option.  Our leader left, a new draconian leader took over with some ideas and outlooks that were not uplifting and I could not agree on, and the group had changed dramatically. I decided to look elsewhere.  My wife had seen someone from Reconciliation Ministries speak in person at a High School ministry event through our church and suggested I give the ministry a call.  I came to Living Waters shortly after and immediately saw the difference.  At first it was challenging, but it became apparent Living Waters was a place where I could begin to find real healing and connect with God.  I began to learn how to surrender to God and begin understanding where the healing would be happening.  Living Waters has changed my life.  It goes beyond a therapy regimen and allows for real healing.  My relationship with God has never been better or more important in my life.  My marriage can finally be described as happy and we have never been closer.  My personal relationships have improved, I feel more motivated in my work, and I have finally have a feeling of contentment in life in God’s plan.  Now I can’t imagine life without Living Waters. 

The process has not been comfortable.  Coming clean to my wife was not comfortable. Learning about myself was not comfortable. Continually facing my fears and doubts instead of running and hiding is not comfortable. Surrendering to God is not comfortable.  Despite no part of the process being comfortable, it is worth it.  Being able to walk free, without the haze of lies and denial, is something that is better than I could imagine.  No longer feeling like I have a terrible secret makes it so much easier to look people in the eyes and feel my own self-worth.  Knowing I have a God on my side and learning the truth about how God feels about me has given me peace I couldn’t believe before this process.  One of the most surprising gains is when I stopped focusing only on my own needs. I could reach out in community with others and finally feel like I don’t have to be isolated and alone.  I would suggest Living Waters to everyone, since I feel everyone needs to know about themselves more deeply. If you think porn use isn’t a problem like drugs or alcohol, you really need Living Waters.  It’s unlike anything I have done before and helped me better my relationship with my God and understand myself. 

© 2017 Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc. This article may be reproduced and distributed as long as no fee is charged and credit is given.

First image by Gilles Lambert on www.unsplash.com. Second image by Ryan Franco on www.unsplash.com.

An Expanded Vision: More Lives to Reach

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Dear Friends,

Reconciliation Ministries began in 1984 with a focus on ministering specifically to those struggling with unwanted same-sex attraction. Through the years, our focus deepened to include heterosexual issues and the addition of our Living Waters program. We added licensed counseling to our services of pastoral care and prayer ministry, and recently began a new program for abuse recovery called Mending the Soul.

Over the past several months, you’ve been reading how the Lord has been working on our hearts to minister to those with a deeper level of brokenness than Reconciliation Ministries has ministered to in the past. This part of our journey actually began about three years ago, during a conversation with the Lord that took place over four Sunday worship services. I knew He was doing a deep work in my heart. I was shaking during the last worship service as He asked me to pray that He would send me to the bowels of hell on earth, so that we can save people from the bowels of hell for eternity.

We are excited to announce that the Lord has even more plans in store. As we continue to minister to all forms of sexual and relational brokenness in Metro Detroit, we also have an opportunity to touch souls in Ubon, Thailand. Plans are underway for me (Dan Hitz) to minister in Thailand from July through December of 2018. I have been invited to assist in the development of the Living Waters team in this remote region of Thailand, mentor men who are potential leadership team members, and minister to pastors and villagers in the surrounding areas. You can read more about the progression of this vision and calling on the inside of this newsletter.

Reconciliation Ministries will continue to serve the Body of Christ in Metro Detroit even as we extend our outreach to Ubon, Thailand. We would like to invite you to join us in bringing the transformational power of Jesus Christ to those who desperately need Him. You can become a valuable member of the Reconciliation Ministries Support Team through your generous financial partnership and your prayers for the ministry and the participants. No one can affect the lives that we are called to reach alone, but together through Christ we can reach thousands of people who need His healing touch. Please join our Support Team and help bring healing to those who are sexually broken and to those who have suffered the trauma of abuse. You can sign up with the form included in this newsletter, or online at our website at www.recmin.org.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at 586.739.5114 or DHitz@recmin.org.

Thank you for sharing this journey with us!

Dan Hitz, Director, Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc.

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An Expanded Vision: More Lives to Reach - Dan Hitz

Dan has been the director of Reconciliation Ministries since 2003. This article describes his journey from growing up with sexual abuse and emotional brokenness, to reaching out to others who are hurting and walking with them to Jesus. Dan shares his expanded vision to reach more lives for Christ and invites you to join him in the journey.

I stand in amazement as I ponder the vision the Lord has birthed in my heart to reach more lives with the healing power of Jesus Christ. None of us have the ability to do anything of any eternal value, yet together in Christ we can accomplish great things for Him. I wanted to share my journey from the depths of despair to where the Lord has brought me to now. I also want to invite you to share in the calling He has given. The calling to reach out to those who are bound by sexual sin and the trauma of abuse. You can have a part in seeing the transformational power of Jesus Christ set captives free and restore their lives. Everyone has a story. Everyone can have a testimony of God’s redemption and restoration. Your journey can bring hope to others.

I was the fifth child to a paranoid schizophrenic mother and an overwhelmed father. Before I entered kindergarten I was sexually abused by my mother. My heart was shattered in the process and I dealt with the abuse by trying to turn off my emotions. When I was in junior high school, the abuse started up again and grew progressively more aggressive. I was pretty emotionally and sexually messed up and began to struggle with homosexuality, emotional isolation and bulimia. I was in complete bondage to these things – my mind was constantly fixated on gay images and I couldn’t go more than three days without a food binge. I wanted to be dead, but I was afraid to kill myself.

I got saved a year after I graduated from college. The bulimia ended right away so I thought that the same-sex attraction issues would be gone too. I meant business with God. I was devastated when I realized that the sexual issues didn’t just go away. My heart and emotions were still pretty turned off at that point and I was afraid to let God access my heart. I stuck to the Christian disciplines and the Lord began to do a slow work of change. By His grace, I got married two years after salvation. Marriage doesn’t fix sexual issues, and I was pretty broken for a lot of years. After 14 years of trying to get God to fix me on my own terms, I finally surrendered to Him and admitted that everything I had tried to do to fix myself hadn’t worked. I asked Him to help me His way. Shortly after that I met Tom Cole, who directed Reconciliation Ministries before me. I went through some of our programs as a participant. I finally begin to find freedom from the compulsive homosexual thoughts that caused me to hate myself so much.

The Lord began to convict my heart. He told me that He had given me a glass of water to drink while I was dying of thirst in the wilderness, and He wanted me to give that same water to others. Knowing what it was like to be in such bondage to sexual sin and find freedom in Christ gave me a passion to see others set free.

I became the director of Reconciliation Ministries in 2003. It is a ministry that helps men, women, and adolescents overcome a wide variety of sexual sin and the pain of abuse. I am blessed to see God set people free. I’ve seen guys who spent so much time watching pornography that they lost their jobs and their families break free from sin. I’ve seen other guys who were bound by adultery and sexual addiction and about ready to lose their wives find freedom in Christ. I’ve seen marriages restored. I also seen women who thought the only value they had was to give men sex because that’s what their brothers and fathers taught them learn who they really are in Christ and stand in their true identity as daughters of the King. My heart burns with passion to see more and more people set free.

After a few years of working with people struggling with LGBT issues and heterosexual addictions, the Lord started working on my own abuse issues at a much deeper level. One of my favorite sections of Scripture  is  where  Jesus says  that He came to heal the broken  hearted. In  the original  language,  the phrase brokenhearted means shards of glass as if you broke a mirror. (You can see me during junior high in the picture on the left with my mother.) I began to realize that abuse shattered my own heart into many fragments and I still had a lot of healing to do. God continued to transform my heart more than I could ever imagine. He began to send many others who were fragmented by abuse and I saw their hearts come back to life.

Over the past three years, the Lord has been increasing my burden to reach people with a deeper level of brokenness than we’ve seen before. More people just like me have been fragmented by abuse. I’ve got an intense burden for people who have been wounded deeply by chronic abuse to the point where they can barely function and hold down a job. We’ve done a lot already to bring healing to people, we offer license counseling and individual prayer ministry, and a discipleship group called Living Waters. We’ve been able to bring sexual healing in Metro Detroit and so many other places including Southeast Asia, a federal prison, inner cities, and other people that you might interact with every day but have no idea how much they’re actually hurting on the inside. With God’s help we can do so much more. It’s time to expand the ministerial offerings that Reconciliation Ministries provides.

Dan and Marianne in Thailand, 2016.

Last November, my wife and I ministered in Ubon Thailand for two weeks. We helped a missionary who was starting a brand new Living Waters group there. It was a smaller group, but the level of brokenness was overwhelming. I saw people whose hearts were in fragments being restored by the mercy of Jesus Christ. I could relate to their journey. The whole experience stirred my heart deeply and the Lord spoke to me that He was going to raise up two, three, or four people in that room to touch thousands. We can help make that happen.

The trip to Thailand and all that the Lord has been showing us in past few years in the US compels us to expand the ministry to bring a deeper level of healing that we’ve seen in the past. Reconciliation Ministries just started a new twelve-week program for abuse survivors called Mending the Soul. Right now we have to charge a tuition so that we can pay our expenses, but I want to increase our funding so we can offer that program free of charge to abuse survivors who desperately need healing and can’t afford our tuition fees. Together we can reach out to chronic abuse survivors and to those who have been trafficked and offer them the healing that Jesus Christ died to give them.

Another door has opened up to allow us to return to Thailand for six months in 2018 to continue the work that we did last November with Living Waters. We can have a part in the Lord raising up those two, three or four people to reach thousands. We can do this in a way that strengthens our local ministry offerings and also allows us to bring an extension of our ministry to Thailand. In the US, you can find an AA group or a Celebrate Recovery group every night of the week. There’s nothing for people struggling in this part of Thailand. We can change that. We can share what we’ve learned here in the US and use it to raise up Thai nationals and equip them with healing tools to set captives free.

That’s our burden. To bring freedom to people struggling with LGBT issues and heterosexual addiction issues. To bring healing and restoration to people who have been shattered by years of terrible sexual abuse. To help men and women find freedom from sin and healing from trauma so that they can be the men and women that God created them to be. And we have the opportunity to do this right here in Metro Detroit, and half way around the world in Ubon Thailand. Please join our monthly support team and together we can bring the redemption and restoration of Jesus Christ to those who desperately need Him. You can join our financial support team by clicking here, and join our intercessory team by sending an email to DHitz@recmin.org.

© 2017 Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc. This article may be reproduced and distributed as long as no fee is charged and credit is given.