Craig Matthews lost his wife of almost 44 years seventeen months ago and Living Waters continues to be his home. Craig is a child of a good God, a son, a father of three grown kids, Papa to seven, Author of six Christian novels, the owner of Indie publishing company, and a patio restoration company in Port Huron, Michigan. You can read some of his content or just connect with him at www.craigmatthewsmedia.com. You can read testimonies from other overcomers, including other Living Waters participants, at https://recmin.org/newsletter-archives.

The seven-year-old was gripping his bed sheet like his life depended on it. The failure he experienced nearly every single day was much worse on this particular morning. He needed to lie still and keep quiet. Maybe no one would ever know what he had done during the night. This was another failure that would put on display the fact that he was really broken. Broken beyond fixing. Normal people didn’t wet the bed. No one else in his family had the problem. But today it was worse than that. He thought he could hide the mess, but he could not camouflage the smell.

Mom was the first to notice the stench when she opened the bedroom door. She shooed his brother out of the room and told him to be quiet. Then she left to run a bath. That was when dad looked in, and the little boy’s life was changed forever as a wave of shame crashed into his heart. Dad never said a word, but his eyes did. Seven-year-old Craig thought his dad was wondering what was wrong with his third son…

I felt broken. Devastated in a way I had never felt before. It was bad enough that my pee-stained sheets hung outside on the line every day. A white flag with yellow suns signifying that a broken kid lived in the house. The rubber sheet beneath my sheet reminded me without words that I was a loser.

Fifty–five years later, God brought healing to my little boy’s heart, but I need to back up first, in order to move forward.

After the most significant break down in my life I went into counseling again from 2008 through 2011. Counseling was helpful and then my wife came with me for the final year. By God’s grace we were working through significant violations of our marital covenant committed by me. At the end of our last session our counselor gave me a flier from an organization called Reconciliation Ministries for a program they were offering called, “Living Waters,” which she thought could help me.

I went home, made the phone call and talked to some guy named Dan. I signed up the next day. That decision began a fifteen-year connection with Living Waters that continues to this day. God has used Living Waters to bring significant change to my little boy heart over the years. The crazy thing is that God continues to use it to touch my heart even as a leader for so many years.

Ten years ago, I had a revelation that showed me my mom was not hanging my sheets outside to embarrass me; she was serving me, not shaming me. But my little-boy heart did not comprehend that truth for years, choosing instead to live my life based on a lie.

The bigger lie, however, the one that impacted so many desperate decisions was the one I believed about my daddy’s eyes that day while I hung onto my sheets. God chose to make known to me the truth. My dad was thirty-seven at the time, and the look in his eyes, which I thought was casting judgment upon me, cutting me off from his love, was, in fact, eyes of affection from a man not knowing what to do to help his son.

Sure, maybe a few words would have changed everything, but how do you speak when you don’t have the language? What do you say when you don’t have the words? He chose silence instead of scorn, which was a blessing. But, as it turns out, the silence spoke just as loud to my heart.

I am so incredibly grateful that God woke me last fall in the middle of the night just to tell me that my father loved me—he just did not know what to do. He never had a son who slept so soundly that he could not hear the signal from his bladder until after he was thirteen.

I knew that my dad loved me later in life, but we never talked about what happened on that messy day. He passed away peacefully as we prayed over him. I thought we were good, the account settled, so to speak, but God knew I needed to know a little bit more so I could understand some of the lies I had depended on. This is a healing I will never forget.

Newsletter

Lies That Shape Us - Craig Matthews

I felt broken. Devastated in a way I had never felt before. It was bad enough that my pee-stained sheets hung outside on the line every day. A white flag with yellow suns signifying that a broken kid lived in the house. The rubber sheet beneath my sheet reminded me without words that I was a loser.

Fifty–five years later, God brought healing to my little boy’s heart, but I need to back up first, in order to move forward.

Ten years ago, I had a revelation that showed me my mom was not hanging my sheets outside to embarrass me; she was serving me, not shaming me. But my little-boy heart did not comprehend that truth for years, choosing instead to live my life based on a lie.

Sure, maybe a few words would have changed everything, but how do you speak when you don’t have the language? What do you say when you don’t have the words? He chose silence instead of scorn, which was a blessing. But, as it turns out, the silence spoke just as loud to my heart.

I am so incredibly grateful that God woke me last fall in the middle of the night just to tell me that my father loved me—he just did not know what to do. He never had a son who slept so soundly that he could not hear the signal from his bladder until after he was thirteen.

I am so incredibly grateful for a Savior who loves me so much, and for using Living Waters to bring healing and peace to my little boy soul.

God desires to bring healing to your heart much more than some behavior modification trick. Seek Him above all else, you won’t be disappointed.

Reconciliation ministries