Jesus Heals the Brokenhearted: Empowered through Relationship

This newsletter is based on a teaching Dan Hitz presented at New Hope Assembly of God in Taylor, Michigan on March 5, 2023. Dan is the director of Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in overcoming unwanted LGBTQ issues, sexual abuse recovery, and trauma. Dan is an ordained minister, EMDR trained, and a Clinically Certified Trauma Professional. He began his journey out of homosexuality in 1984.

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.”

Luke 4:18-19 NKJV

Jesus was reading from the book of Isaiah in Luke 4:18-19 when He proclaimed that He has come to heal the brokenhearted. Those verses are among my favorite in Scripture. In the original language, the term “brokenhearted” means shards of glass as if you broke a mirror. That’s what many of our hearts are like – jagged shards of glass. Jesus came to heal our shattered hearts.

Dan at about five years old

I had a lot of shards of glass in my heart when I came to Christ in 1984. I was born to a paranoid schizophrenic mother who molested me before I entered kindergarten. The abuse started up again in middle school and lasted until early high school. My dad was a nice guy in general, but I shut my heart off to him when he was having a rough day and scolded me for asking too many questions. Since I shut my heart off from him, I couldn’t receive the masculine infilling that fathers are meant to give to their sons. That left me vulnerable to an older boy who abused me when I was about five or six. He made it fun at first. When he wanted me to do things I didn’t want to do, it turned coercive and shaming. I was raised in the church. It was confusing when what was talked about at church didn’t match up with what was going on at home. I knew right from wrong. In middle school, I realized that I liked the boys more than the girls. That was a problem. The abuse from my mother was threatening and aggressive. I wanted to have a normal family, but I was afraid of women. My high school and college years were full of dual attractions. I tried to have a girlfriend, but I wanted a boyfriend more. I desperately wanted a male to fill the huge masculine void I had in my heart. That didn’t work. Eventually I became bulimic. I couldn’t eat enough to fill up the void. Sexual encounters with men couldn’t fill up the void. I was truly empty.

When I got saved in 1984 the bulimia fell away instantly. Jesus began to fill the void. I didn’t need to binge anymore. I was excited and thought that the homosexual attractions that I loved and hated would instantly go away too. I was full of shame and condemnation when they didn’t. Jesus did indeed come to heal my broken heart, but He does things His way not ours. He calmed my fear of women enough to bring me a beautiful wife. She is still my wife today, some 38 years later, but even marriage doesn’t cure same-sex attraction. Only Jesus heals the brokenhearted. After about 15 years of trying to fix myself my way, I finally surrendered to God and asked Him to do whatever it took to heal my heart His way. That was the beginning of a challenging journey of recovery. A journey of learning more and more about God the Father’s heart, Jesus my Savior, and the Holy Spirit who leads me to all truth. The more I open my heart and surrender to the Lord, the more He transforms me into His image. He continues to empower me to stand as the redeemed man of God that He knit together in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). Her mental illness and demonic oppression couldn’t destroy the Lord’s plan for my life.

God could have taken my homosexual attractions away instantly, but He wanted to teach me to be completely dependent upon Him. He wanted to teach me to “ fight the good fight for the true faith.” (1 Timothy 6:12 NLT) This seems to be His way. As revivals are popping up around the world, there will be some who will be instantly delivered from sins that have defeated them for years. There will be many more who will enter into the battle of Judges 3:1-2 NLT, “1 These are the nations that the Lord left in the land to test those Israelites who had not experienced the wars of Canaan. 2 He did this to teach warfare to generations of Israelites who had no experience in battle.” When we’re surrendered to sin, we aren’t fighting. The Lord specifically left some enemies in the Promised Land in order to teach those who had not formerly fought any battles, how to fight. It seems He also leaves enemies in our Promised Land to teach us to fight. The only way to be successful in the battle is to know the heart of the Father. The only way to know the heart of the Father is through relationship.

The idea that homosexuality or transgender identities are sinful isn’t very popular in our culture today. Unfortunately, it isn’t popular in many Christian denominations either. Jesus was pretty clear about God’s design for sexuality. “‘Haven’t you read the Scriptures?’ Jesus replied. ‘They record that from the beginning “God made them male and female.”’ And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. ’” (Matthew 19:4-5 NIV) God ordains physical sexual expression to be exercised solely within the marriage covenant between one biologically born male and one biologically born female. He created us as male and female, not non-binary, gender fluid, or transgender. There are some people who have ambiguous genitalia or chromosomal abnormalities; however, these are scientifically verifiable and observable anomalies. They are not subjectively determined through emotional perception.

Many LGBTQ advocates will claim that homosexual attractions and transgender identities are biologically fixed and unchangeable. They claim that if we try to get counseling to change our orientation or to embrace our birth gender, we’ll become suicidal. That isn’t what the research shows. Multiple peer reviewed studies report the opposite. A study conducted by Joseph Nicolosi and others in 2000 found that even those who didn’t experience a significant shift in their sexual attractions reported improvement in their emotional well-being.1 Jay Greene, Ph.D., senior research fellow in the Heritage Foundation’s Center for Education Policy, found that transgender affirming treatments actually increase suicide risk. 2 You can read more about what research shows regarding change allowing therapy for unwanted same-sex attraction and gender confusion online at https://recmin.org/s/Research-for-SSA-and-GD-221202.pdf in the article “What Does Research Conclude About Counseling for Unwanted Same-Sex Attraction and Gender Dysphoria?”

The Bible gives us hope for transformation in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 NLT:

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 NLT 9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. 11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

What does the journey out of sexual brokenness and into sexual wholeness look like? My own journey has led me through several seasons of Living Waters, professional therapy, and countless hours of prayer ministry. It requires us to open our hearts to the Lord and safe others and be honest about our desires, our wounds, our sins. It requires us to deny our flesh, take up our cross, and follow Jesus (Matthew 16:24). Denying ourselves – our fleshly desires – isn’t easy. That is one of the many places where we learn to fight. It is one of the many places where we need to accept the Lord’s invitation in Isaiah 1:18 NKJV, “‘Come now, and let us reason together,’ says the Lord, ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.’” Reasoning implies disagreement, or at least a debate of ideas. When we are tempted, emotionally distraught, or struggling in the battle, the Lord invites us to reason with Him. He wants to hear our heart. He wants relationship. He ties that time of reasoning to our victory in the battle over sin. Relationship with Him transforms hearts that are stained like scarlet into hearts that are purified as new fallen snow.

dan receiving prayer at the leaders’ day during restored hope network’s HOPE 2022 conference.

The battle is won through relationship with the Lord. Sometimes that relationship occurs as we meet with Him one on one. Other times, our relationship with the Lord is developed as He meets us through His body – through other Christian brothers and sisters. The thought of honest, vulnerable relationship can be frightening to those of us who have been abused in relationship. That’s one of the areas where we may need to reason with the Lord and ask Him to help us know who to trust, and how to trust. We are wounded in relationship, and the Lord brings us healing in relationship. That’s Jesus’ heart for those who follow Him. Towards the end of His earthly ministry, He gave us a new commandment, “‘Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.’” (John 13:34-35 NLT) Learning to love and trust others takes work. Often, it’s part of the battle. It takes relationship with the Father to learn to trust, forgive, and love.

The Lord has brought me a lot of healing through my individual prayer times with Him; yet, He has brought me far more healing as He flows through other imperfect people in the Body of Christ. He has brought healing from the father wound through the older men in the church who have spoken into my life. He has brought healing from sexual abuse through safe men and women who have sat with me in the pain of the abuse and walked with me to Jesus. He has healed me from the mother wound through relationships with safe, godly women who prayed for me and spoke words of encouragement. None of these people brought healing through human effort. They were godly vessels who allowed the grace of God to flow through them. None of them were perfect. Neither am I. Sometimes we offend each other. As we learn to rely on God and walk in humility, we learn to work through our differences and forgive one another. That brings further healing and further victory. Victory through relationship.

Through the years, the shards of glass in my heart have become smoother. Many of the broken pieces have been joined back together. This is a lifelong process. Jesus has healed the wounds of abuse from my mother by meeting me in the memories – in the pain – and cleansing me with His blood. In one memory, I could see Him picking me up after the abuse and wrapping me in a white blanket. He held me lovingly and comforted me. In another memory, I felt like I could never be cleansed of the dirtiness of the abuse. The Lord moved in and I could feel the power of the Holy Spirit pushing the shame and dirtiness out of me from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. Years after my father passed away, the Lord helped me to open my heart back up to my dad, at least in my memories of him. He showed me ways that my father did reach out to me and speak truth and empowerment into my heart. The older I get, the more I appreciate my earthly father. The Lord has healed the pain of being abused by the older boy as He brings many safe men into my life that I can be honest and vulnerable with. These are godly men who know me in my strengths as well as my weaknesses. They don’t take advantage of my brokenness, but walk with me to Jesus where I can receive even more healing. The Lord has given me the family that I truly wanted deep down in my heart. My wife is my best friend. Our family has had its challenges through the years. We have had tragedy. We have had blessing. Through it all, my wife and I have walked to Jesus for His help. Rather than being defeated by the challenges of life, He has empowered us to stand strong in the battle and find our strength in Him. He continues to give us beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3). He truly does heal the brokenhearted.

Everyone’s healing journey is different. Some challenges may continue in your life that haven’t continued in mine, and vice versa. Whether the Lord calms the storms in your life, or walks with you in the raging storms, He is faithful. He will never give up on you. In the words of Philippians 1:6 NLT, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

If we at Reconciliation Ministries can help you in any way, call us at 586.739.5114. We offer biblically based professional therapy, prayer ministry, mental health coaching, and support groups to help you on your journey.

References:

1 Nicolosi, J., Byrd, A.D., and Potts, R.W. (2000) Retrospective self-reports of changes in homosexual orientation: A consumer survey of conversion therapy clients. Psychological Reports, 86, 1071-1088.

2 Green, Jay. (2022) Puberty Blockers, Cross-Sex Hormones, and Youth Suicide. The Heritage Foundation June 13, 2022. Retrieved from https://www.heritage.org/gender/report/puberty-blockers-cross-sex-hormones-and-youth-suicide on 12/19/2022.

Photo of broken mirror used under license with www.shutterstock.com. Photos of baptism and man in blue shirt courtesy of www.unsplash.com.

© 2023 Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc. This article may be reproduced and distributed as long as no fee is charged and credit is given.

The Truth About Counseling

This newsletter is based on a workshop Dan Hitz and Jim Katsoudas presented at Restored Hope Network’s HOPE 2022 conference. Both Dan and Jim are licensed mental health counselors. The goal of this newsletter is to provide a clear understanding of what licensed therapy and pastoral care for unwanted same-sex attraction or gender confusion looks like, compared to the public narrative of “conversion therapy”.  A future article will examine the validity of “change allowing therapy”.

www.shutterstock.com

What do you think about when you hear the phrase “conversion therapy”? Popular culture would have you believe that it involves coercive behavior towards someone struggling with LGBTQ issues in an effort to manipulatively convert them from gay to straight.  Add to that electric shock, nausea inducing drugs, and worse… Now you get the general public’s opinion of what happens when someone receives counseling for unwanted same-sex attraction or gender confusion. Sadly, gay-advocates have created the term “conversion therapy” to demonize any “change allowing therapy” whether it is from a licensed therapist, a pastoral care giver, or a compassionate peer support group. “Conversion therapy” is a straw man argument designed to spread angst among the unchurched population who doesn’t want to be converted through some type of religious crusade. It slanders and overly simplifies what godly caregivers do by implying that we forcefully try to “pray the gay away”. That’s not what we do.

What about the argument, “Once gay, always gay?” We’ll look more in-depth at the current peer reviewed scientific research in a future newsletter. There is ample evidence showing the fluidity of sexual attraction1 and that change allowing therapy actually works2. There is also plenty of evidence showing that even those who engaged in therapy but didn’t experience a significant change in their orientation reported decreased depression and decreased suicidal behavior after therapy3.

For today, let’s take a look at what the Bible says about transformation. The Bible offers clear proof that transformation is possible. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 [NLT] reads:

9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. 11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

This is irrefutable proof that homosexuality is just one of many behaviors that God identifies as sin and calls us to repent of. When we repent, He makes us right with Him. He cleanses us and makes us holy. That doesn’t mean that we won’t ever struggle with those temptations again. Jesus, Himself, was tempted. It doesn’t even mean that we won’t ever fall again. It does mean that we can repent of homosexuality, be made righteous in Christ, and begin the PROCESS of transformation. But what happens if we do sin again in our process of transformation? 1 John 2:1-2 [NIV] reads:

1My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. 2 He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.

Receiving God’s provision of forgiveness for our sin doesn’t mean that we can continue willfully in our sin just because of his grace. As the Apostle Paul writes in Romans 6:1-2 [NLT] asking, “Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace?” His response was simple. “Of course not!” True grace shows us that God has mercy on us in our transformation process and works in our hearts to change our desires. Scripture has many examples of heroes of faith falling into sin and repenting4. As repentant followers of God, they never celebrated their sin. They certainly never took pride in their sin.

What about the “born this way” argument? Scripture makes it clear that we are all born dead in trespasses and sin and need to be born again.6 The truth is, no scientists have ever been able to prove a genetic cause to homosexuality. Even the American Psychiatric Association admits they do not know what causes homosexuality. In their document, Answers to Your Questions: For a Better Understanding of Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality5, they write:

There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay, or lesbian orientation.  Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles; most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation.

What exactly is “change allowing therapy”? Such therapy or pastoral care may also be called “sexual orientation change efforts” or “sexual orientation and gender identity change efforts”. It should also be noted that there are both faith centered caregivers and secular caregivers who are skilled in helping men and women overcome unwanted LGBTQ desires. Efforts to overcome unwanted same-sex attraction or gender confusion may include simply talking to someone who understands the struggle. In addition to talking, the caregiver may use Christian disciplines like prayer, Bible study, discipleship, and mentoring. There are many wonderful resources from men and women who are themselves overcomers and share many practical insights into the transformation process. The caregiver may teach the overcomer about boundaries, accountability, triggers, and coping skills. The caregiver may also help the client explore childhood trauma and life experiences that are contributing to the overcomer’s unwanted same-sex attraction or gender confusion. For Christian caregivers, the most important aspect of the process will be to help the overcomer understand and live according to his true identity in Christ. Working with the caregiver is just one part of the transformation or recovery process. The overcomer can use many different resources to better understand himself, learn to manage temptation, and begin to practice healthier thought patterns and behaviors.

Pastoral caregiving and peer support may take place in more informal settings, while professional therapists will follow more formal, therapeutic guidelines. All compassionate care must follow “the client’s right to self-determination”, meaning that the client or ministry recipient is the one to set the goals for the care received. Change allowing caregivers are happy to work with anyone desiring to overcome LGBTQ issues. If someone wishes to embrace her LGBTQ desires, ethical therapists won’t try to coerce her to change. God, Himself, won’t violate our free will. In such a case, the caregiver would inform the client that it would violate the caregiver’s personal convictions to help her embrace LGBTQ desires and refer her to a caregiver who offers “affirming therapy”, or therapy that helps one embrace LGBTQ desires.

While the person receiving the care should be the one to set the goals for the care that he receives, some goals are helpful and some are not. This article will explore some of these goals from a Christian perspective. Many of these goals are also applicable to individuals who do not profess a faith in Christ, although the language and perspective may need to be modified to fit the worldview and vocabulary of the specific individual. Anyone receiving therapy will be more successful in their recovery if they have a set of clearly defined, appropriate goals. Of course, all compassionate care will include the exploration of coping skills, boundaries, accountability, social interaction, and life principles that help us resist temptation and experience transformation. While these are important ingredients in recovery, the most important work occurs deep in the heart.

The primary goal should be to live our lives surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and living according to our true identity in him. The primary goal should NOT be the total elimination of same sex attraction or gender confusion. This is true whether we experience a significant shift in our attractions or not. If our focus is on the elimination of all temptations, we will continually be frustrated. True inner peace comes from living one’s life surrendered to Jesus Christ, and receiving in him the love, strength and transformation that empowers us to live in authentic relationship with him. As we live for him, we become more like him. Jesus doesn’t take away temptation, he gives us the power to resist temptation. Jesus wasn’t defined by his temptations. Neither are we. We are defined by the Heavenly Father as cherished sons and daughters. We each have own unique set of strengths and weaknesses. In our submitted weakness, we are made strong in Christ (2 Corinthians 12:6-10).

Another healthy goal is the exploration of life experiences, unresolved trauma, and perceptions that may be contributing to unwanted same-sex attractions. We are a product of our perceptions and responses to our life experiences. Even though we may not be consciously aware of how these things have influenced our same-sex attraction or gender confusion, we live out those influences every day. They create behavior patterns, mindsets, and habits. Sexual brokenness and emotional challenges are the fruit of deeper emotional wounds in our heart. Understanding the root issues contributing to our unhealthy habits and mindsets can help us develop healthier thought patterns, coping skills, and life choices.

An extensive list of the benefits of change allowing therapy is beyond the scope of this newsletter, but here are some of the most common. Change allowing therapy speaks truth to the false narrative that one is trapped in homosexuality, lesbianism, or a transgender identity.  Change allowing therapy can help the individual align his sexuality with his faith. This brings a deeper understanding of one’s identity in Christ. He becomes better equipped to navigate through life’s challenges in fellowship with Christ and other believers. Exploring negative life experiences and perceptions contributing to unwanted same-sex attraction and gender confusion leads to resolution of inner conflict. Overcomers experience decreased depression, anxiety, shame, and reduced suicidal thoughts and behavior. Change allowing therapy can help strugglers who are engaging in dangerous, high risk sexual behavior avoid doing so. Change allowing therapy enhances the overcomer’s spiritual, social, physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing.

It is important to address some realistic expectations for anyone experiencing therapy of any type, and especially for those receiving therapy for unwanted same-sex attraction or gender confusion. Therapy to overcome any longstanding challenge and brokenness is hard work. Staying in our challenges and brokenness is hard work. True change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change, and we become motivated to do the hard work of recovery. This is a process. The overcomer will not experience full victory a week from Tuesday. She will need help and encouragement to celebrate the small victories and recover from the setbacks that will occur on a long journey. This is where the church, discipleship, and bearing one another’s burdens comes in. The overcomer is surrendering a lot. Although sinful and broken, the LGBTQ community has also been a source of comfort, strength, and support. The overcomer will need the help of safe, trusted others in the Body of Christ who can love and support her as she yields that former way of life to the Lord.

It’s not realistic to expect that if we are fully engaged in recovery for our same-sex attraction, God will surely bring us a spouse of the opposite sex. They are two separate issues. Unfortunately, many have used marriage as a litmus test for victory. Marriage is very complicated. Not everyone is called to marriage. This includes those recovering from unwanted same-sex attraction and gender confusion, as well as those who have never struggled with their sexuality. Marriage is complicated. It doesn’t cure sexual or emotional brokenness. If marriage is one of your recovery goals, or a demand you place upon God, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. I know many overcomers who are married, myself included. I also know many overcomers who are single and content. They are open to marriage if the Lord should ever bring the right person along, but it isn’t a demand. Married or not, the important thing is to place all of our emotional needs and desires in God’s hands and learn to receive our fulfillment from him. Along the way, he will help us learn to interact with others in the Body of Christ whom he can flow through to bless us and challenge us as we walk with him.

Whenever a new client comes into my office, I want to offer him realistic expectations. I explain that I still have some residual same-sex attractions, but that they are a fraction of what they used to be. They have gone from a place where they were debilitating, to a place where they are under my feet through the power of Jesus Christ. I have to keep my foot firmly planted and use the tools God has given me for victory. I practice accountability and boundaries. I continue to receive personal prayer ministry regularly. I explain the continuum of change. Some people have experienced a complete shift in their attractions and are no longer attracted to the same sex. Others have experienced little change in their attractions, but are continuing to yield those attractions to the cross. The reality is that most of us as overcomers are living in the middle of that continuum. We’ve experienced a shift in our attractions, but we still have to cope with some level of unwanted same-sex attraction. We are all a work on progress.

Temptations will still happen. The good news is that temptations can be yielded to Christ and used as an opportunity for deeper healing. (See the newsletter article “Praying Beyond the Temptations” at https://recmin.org/newsletter-archives.) Jesus was tempted while on this earth (Matthew 4:1-11). Luke 4:13 [NIV] reads, “When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him [Jesus] for a more opportune time.” One day this Scripture jumped off the page, and I realized that if Jesus had a more opportune – more vulnerable – time to be tempted, we surely will too. This truth helped set my heart at ease. Temptations are not sin. It’s what we do with them that matters. Temptations don’t define us! Jesus defines us!

Wherever we are along our journey, we can live a more fulfilled life with Jesus than we can live with sin. In Christ, we can grow in the fruits of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23a [NIV], “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” If you’re made it to the end of this article, you processed a lot of information. You may still have many questions about change allowing therapy. You may be wondering how you or someone you love can begin a healing journey. You may be wondering if you are ready to begin the journey, or if there is anyone who can help. We at Reconciliation Ministries are here to help. Yes, the journey is challenging, but the godly rewards along the way are amazing. You will learn more about yourself and the love the Heavenly Father has for you than you can ever imagine. The journey is worth it! For more information, call us at 586.739.5114, or visit us online at www.recmin.org. There is hope and healing in Jesus Christ.

1 Diamond, Dr. Lisa, Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire. Harvard University Press. 2008.

2 https://www.journalofhumansexuality.com/journals

3 Nicolosi, J., Byrd, A.D., and Potts, R.W. (2000) Retrospective self-reports of changes in homosexual orientation: A consumer survey of conversion therapy clients. Psychological Reports, 86, 1071-1088.

4 Abraham, Isaac, David, Peter – add Scripture references

5 American Psychological Association.  Answers to Your Questions: For a Better Understanding of Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality.  Washington, DC. 2008.  Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbtq/orientation on 5/30/2022.

6 John 3:1-21; Ephesians 2:1-5

Photo used under license with www.shutterstock.com.

© 2022 Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc. This article may be reproduced and distributed as long as no fee is charged and credit is given.

Now is the time to stand for righteousness. You can make a difference!

In this month’s newsletter, you’ll read Dawn’s testimony of deliverance from a life of abuse, addiction, and homosexuality. She is just one of the many people you’ve helped find healing and transformation through your support of Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan. Dawn is a beautiful example of God’s grace, and the power of faith-based recovery groups like Living Waters, Mending the Soul, Celebrate Recovery, and more. You have made a difference in Dawn’s life, and the lives of so many others who have benefited from the support groups, prayer ministry, licensed counseling, and spiritual care that you help provide.

We desperately need your help. The future of ministries like Reconciliation Ministries that help men and women overcome unwanted same-sex attraction and gender confusion hangs in the balance. On Thursday, February 25th, the US House of Representatives voted 224 to 206 to pass the Equality Act. The fate of this bill in the Senate is unclear; however, President Biden has stated that he intends to sign the act into law within the first 100 days of his presidency. The Equality Act is one of the biggest threats to religious freedom that our country has ever faced.

Here are just a few of the disastrous effects of The Equality Act:

• It would remove protections offered to faith-based organizations under The Religious Freedom Restoration Act of 1993.

• Faith-based organizations will be obligated to accept and follow federal LGBTQ guidelines or face severe penalties.

• The Equality Act will remove freedom of conscience protection from medical practitioners forcing them to perform abortions and provide gender affirming treatments regardless of their convictions and religious doctrine.

• The law identifies any form of support to help anyone overcome unwanted same-sex attraction or gender confusion and embrace biblical sexuality as discrimination.

• The bill would mandate licensed professional therapists and pastoral caregivers to affirm LGBTQ attractions regardless of their religious convictions and the desires of their clients.

You can find more information in the links at the end of this article.

You can make a difference. Contact your US Senators today and urge them not to sponsor or support the Equality Act.

Please be respectful and courteous in your communications with them. Affirm the value and dignity of all people regardless of their beliefs. This includes people within the LGBTQ community as well as people within communities of faith. Let them know if you or someone you love has been helped to overcome homosexuality and/or gender confusion through pastoral care, licensed therapy, and/or support groups. Urge them to keep that option available for others. Keep your communications brief and to the point. You can find your US Senators at https://www.senate.gov/senators/senators-contact.htm.

Thank you for helping to keep the freedom of religion alive in the United States. This is an important time in our nation’s history, and you can make a difference.

Here is more information about The Equality Act:

The House version of The Equality Act
http://lc.org/PDFs/Attachments2PRsLAs/2019/031819EqualityActHR5.pdf

A Call to Action on the Equality Act – Doug Clay, General Superintendent Assemblies of God, USA
https://news.ag.org/en/news/a-call-to-action-on-the-equality-act?fbclid=IwAR2LzpSwrurgIvGj0lkpTCRcC2Ej6tkUlukkMe9a3yyiYRQAO-mJyC3eV3o  

A Dangerous Attack on Religious Freedom and Free Speech – Liberty Counsel
https://www.lcaction.org/HR5  

The FAQS: What You Should Know about the Pro-LGBTQ Equality Act – Gospel Coalition
https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/the-faqs-what-you-should-know-about-the-pro-lgbtq-equality-act/

Thank you for speaking out for the religious freedom of our country. Your voice matters!

In Christ,

Dan Hitz and your friends at Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc.

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God’s Redeeming Love and Deliverance
Dawn Lynn Mann

Dawn is a friend of Reconciliation Ministries and an alumna of the Living Waters program. She is a Celebrate Recovery leader, and a Justice Ambassador for Prison Fellowship. Through the power of Jesus Christ, Dawn has overcome abuse, addiction, and sexual brokenness. She shares her testimony publicly to encourage others. Dawn is also a writer, and the facilitator of an online recovery group. You can read her blog at www.dawnlynnmann.com/feed.

I was pulled into an abyss of an already darkened world by my spiritual blindness. I believed in God but didn’t really know who He was. I surely didn’t live for Him. This path of destruction was paved with despair that left me feeling lonely, sad, deserted, and hopeless. I was a scared, insecure child. All I ever wanted was to be loved, but it became something else. This perverted abuse started as a young child. I tried to have boyfriends, but even through my teenage years their sex drive became too strong to the point of one attempting to rape me. Therefore, I was extremely uncomfortable and fearful of boys who would later become men.

I was afraid to let my feelings out, so I kept them hidden. I began experimenting with alcohol and unfortunately discovered I liked the sense of being free. I lost all inhibitions and felt I was no longer held captive inside my body, but I also was very naïve. One night, I went to a house, thinking I was going to have a couple drinks with other people. Once I arrived, I found I was alone. The house was dark. Two men took advantage of me and stripped me of every inch of dignity I had. At the time I didn’t identify this as rape, or my past experiences as sexual assault and abuse. I stayed silent. I blamed myself.

Later, I was introduced to cocaine. My newest friends were “drug lords.” I was drawn into an underground world completely covered in darkness where killings were rampant. I was trapped under their influence. One night I was led with a runner to a hotel room with no way out. Nothing happened, but that feeling of entrapment came flooding in from what I now know was complex PTSD. My fear of men ran deep. I felt so uncomfortable and completely pushed them away and turned the other direction.

I didn’t know how to face what I was afraid of. I was torn up. This secret stayed bottled up in agonizing silence and led to sexual attraction to other women. One night the shame was more than I could bare. I attempted to drink myself to death. Not too long after that, I met a woman and for the first time felt safe and deeply in love. Drinking was set aside for only special occasions. After 15 years, it fell apart from the tragedies of life. It left me completely devastated and my heart was shattered in pieces. I began to physically hurt. Alcohol gave me an escape once again. Death returned to knock on my door, this time with the question, “How many Xanax could I take to safely knock me out?” What I didn’t know was that even the minimum amount was more than my heart could bare.

I longed to fill my brokenness and find love. I began experimenting by going to gay bars. What I found were people like me. I belonged, felt safe, and was understood. I thought I found new friends. The next few years, I had a few more relationships. I was an emotional mess and my longing to be loved became deeply enmeshed with broken relationships. I started drinking heavily from not knowing how to cope with the mental and emotional abuse from one of these relationships. One night, after an argument with my girlfriend, I found myself at a bar where a man bought me a couple of strong drinks. His advances became extremely inappropriate. The moment I found a way to escape, I left. I was pulled over by the police as soon as I left the parking lot and was arrested. I went straight to jail and charged with a DUI.

My last relationship, where I thought I found love, was filled with verbal, emotional, and spiritual abuse. I didn’t feel safe and was extremely afraid of her. By God’s power the door was finally shut. Not too long after that I got pulled over for speeding. I thought I had waited enough time to sober up, but an alcohol reading of .08 showed otherwise. A hard lesson learned where I take responsibility and thank God that I didn’t have more alcohol in my system and no harm was done to others. I went straight to jail. This time I cried out to God, “Please help me, I am so sorry, I will do anything.” Then God showed me a story about someone else who had been convicted of a DUI. Tears came flooding in. I wasn’t alone. I reached out to that person in my hopeless despair. I was scared and full of shame, but I couldn’t believe how God’s love poured into me through somebody I didn’t even know. It is a moment in my life I will never forget. The DUI was a blessing in disguise because it is when I truly started seeking God with all my heart. My relationship with Him became alive. This is when I surrendered and gave not only my heart, but my life to Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

God had done so much healing in revealing truth, but I wanted to go even deeper. That is exactly what God did through the Living Waters program where He focused on my sexual confusion and abuse. When I spoke from my heart in a safe group, it brought another level of healing from all the pain of abuse I incurred during the darkest times of my past. I wasn’t alone that night. Someone was by my side, held my hand, and wept with me. As I spoke the pain of what was done to Jesus on that cross, where He bore it all and took it upon Himself, I heard Him say, “I have always loved you with an everlasting love.”

I have now been living a life of sobriety for over four years by the grace of God. Jesus is now the One who fills up every broken, empty place with the gift of the Holy Spirit residing in me. Drugs and alcohol were once the lingering effects of the devastation from trauma of sexual abuse and assault. A cleansing love of Jesus Christ like I have never experienced before now resides in my heart. The Lord delivered me from the debilitating fear of men that plunged me into having gay relationships. The love for my ex was and is real, but it is different now as the Lord is the love of my life. I am no longer fearful of men or living a past life of homosexuality. I have been set free by the precious blood of Jesus.

Jesus said to the people who believed in Him, “You are truly My disciples if you remain faithful to My teachings. And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” [John 8:31-32 NLT] The truth is, real love is only found in Jesus.

I now have been sharing God’s story of love and redemption to help others find the hope and freedom that I so desperately needed. The Lord has opened the door to share my story in many churches, and with Celebrate Recovery, a podcast, YouTube, and via radio. I sponsor and mentor others as I have been, and continue to be. I teach God’s word, lead small group, and serve as a Celebrate Recovery leader and a Justice Ambassador for Prison Fellowship. My story, “Breaking Free”, is published in a compilation book, Faith and Freedom. I am blessed to have some of my articles published in Arise Daily, Leading Hearts Magazine, and on my blog. I write about hard stuff that is hidden and bring it into the light to help others benefit from what God has brought me through. I facilitate a safe ministry group where others can come together and share true stories to bring hope and help others. In February I was on a panel discussing sexuality and finding hope and freedom highlighting God’s love for the Arise Esther Virtual Conference. I am looking forward to sharing my testimony with Freedom March in the months ahead. All of this is made possible by the love, redemption, and transformation that Jesus provided through the cross.

I have started the process of writing my own book. The Lord has put a deep passion in my heart to see others set free, and I stand in Christ’s authority on a mission to win souls for the Kingdom of God. He has told me to clear my stuff out and make the light load, wait on Him, and be ready to go. I’m listening to Him. I say, Yes Lord, Your will, Your way.

You can read Dawn’s blog here: www.dawnlynnmann.com/feed

You can access Dawn’s Facebook group here: www.facebook.com/groups/bondagefree

© 2021 Dawn Lynn Mann. Printed in the Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc. newsletter with permission.

Lives are Changed through the Living Waters Program

Living Waters is a Christ-centered discipleship/ministry program for men and women seeking healing in areas of sexual and relational brokenness; including pornography addiction, codependency, sexual addiction, homosexuality, sexual ambivalence, childhood sexual abuse, transgender issues, and difficulty in establishing and sustaining healthy relationships.  Our next program is starting soon.

Here are some powerful testimonies from participants who had their lives changed through the power of Jesus Christ in the Living Waters program. They are used with the permission of the participants.

I’ve learned that it is ok to bring God into my pain; that I need to fully integrate my emotional health with my spiritual life.  I’ve also learned that my identity is not that of an “abused”, or a “victim” or a “codependent” or a “homosexual”, but that my identity is that of a child of God and it does not rest in my feelings about myself, other people, or relationships – but solely in who God says I am.

A female participant.

I found Living Waters in a crisis of my marriage falling apart for many reasons, but one was because of my same-sex attraction. I didn’t know which end was up at the time. However, I knew that I need to start the path to dealing with my same-sex attraction in whatever way God wanted it dealt with. Living Waters was the start of the path God and I went down.

I have dealt with same-sex attraction since I was very young. It became sexualized in middle school. There were often dark times in my life because of the same-sex attraction. I tried things a couple of times in my teens but later on knew that acting on my same-sex attraction with guys just couldn’t happen. That didn’t stop me from looking at porn and masturbating, but I thought that since I wasn’t doing anything with anybody else that I’m somehow or somewhat okay. My addiction would come and go with intensity, but it was always there. I always vowed to never be involved physically with a guy.

Fast forward to being married. My wife knew from the start that I struggled with same-sex attraction. Later on we experienced a situation that focused attention on my same-sex attraction that lead to further breakdown of our marriage and my wife choosing to be done. Prior to our split, I went through about four months of identity crisis, questioning God if He was okay if I began pursuing a same-sex relationship. My wife was challenging me to embrace how I was “really made”. Ultimately, I knew deep down that God didn’t want me living that way. I knew that I needed help to actively pursue a different course, one that acknowledges that God hasn’t made people to have same-sex relationships. I’m pursuing God with everything in me and learning, thanks to Living Waters, how to approach life in a healthy way.

A male participant.

I came to Living Waters looking for healing from past molestation, abuse, and neglect; but I found so much more. Not only were those wounds recognized and visited, but Living Waters dug much deeper, beyond those wounds, to the places those wounds damaged the most. Up until this amazing ministry I thought I simply had to get past my past, past those obvious hurts, ask God to heal me, and move on. The truth is, there was much more than healing that needed to be done. Not only were there deeper wounds that had been festering for years beneath the obvious ones, but those wounds had changed me into someone I didn’t even recognize anymore. A person who covered her wounds with sexual acts, who pushed others away before they got too close to see the broken pieces, whose filters were so flawed she thought even the kindest acts were there to laugh at her, and who criticized both men and women for being both too masculine and too feminine.

Before Living Waters, I didn’t even  know who I was, I had hidden myself so well behind my layers of broken protection, that I couldn’t even find myself… but God found me. He found me buried in the rubble, He gently scrubbed my wounds, and bandaged them in both Grace and Mercy. I am still a work in process, I still have wounds and flaws, but I also have Hope. I may remain somewhat uncertain as to who I am – I have seen glimpses of her, and she is beautiful – but I know without a doubt whose I am. I know God will continue His work in me. Thank you, Living Waters, I thank God for you all.

A female participant.

While enduring a terrible marriage I was looking for a way to relieve the huge amount of stress in my life.  One night on my way home from night school, the evil one suggested that I do something that I had quit doing many years before – cross dressing.  I jumped at the chance and soon could no longer satisfy my cravings with occasional dressing up, so I got a divorce and began living as a woman.  I eventually succumbed totally and had surgery in my efforts to look more and more like a woman.  I still was not satisfied but could do nothing else to myself.  Then God worked through a friend of mine and got me involved in a group that opened my eyes and began clearing my head.  After a year of this I resolved to go back to being a man but knew I needed help.  By God’s grace I found Living Waters and am now solidly grounded in Christ and living completely as a man.

A male participant.

If you or someone you love is struggling with sexual or relational difficulties, there is hope and healing through the power of Jesus Christ.  Call us and ask about attending the next Living Waters program. (586) 739-5114 

The pictures used in this article are not the actual participants. Photos acquired through www.unsplash.com.

© Reconciliation Ministries 2019.  This article may be reproduced and distributed as long as credit is given and no fee is charged.

The Building Blocks of Homosexuality

The debate continues about the cause of homosexuality – nature, nurture, choice?  Dan Hitz, Director of Reconciliation Ministries, presents this brief overview of the building blocks of homosexuality.  Each person’s life story is different, yet Jesus Christ has an answer for every man, woman, and adolescent that finds him/herself struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions.  Understanding some of the potential roots of homosexuality helps us understand the steps to recovery. This article was originally published in a 2010 newsletter, and has been slightly updated for this 2019 edition.

Those of us who have struggled with unwanted homosexual attractions know that we didn’t lie awake in bed one night trying to decide if we should be gay.  Our attractions just happened.  Many of us felt different than the other kids of our gender for as long as we can remember.  Some of us were called faggots long before we even knew what the word meant.  It can feel like we’re born this way.  Especially when our personality is developed at a young age by life experiences that were completely out of our control – the majority of which we cannot even remember.  This article will present a brief overview of the basic building blocks of homosexuality.  Understanding what some of the foundational issues may be, helps us to know what areas of our hearts are most in need of the grace of Jesus Christ and His healing presence.

Why has the secular community historically presented the idea of a genetic link to homosexuality?  Sharon Begley summed up the answer in her 2008 Newsweek Magazine article entitled “Does DNA Make Some Men Gay?” when she quoted Dr. Rosenberg. “By linking homosexuality to the genes, says New York psychiatrist Kenneth Paul Rosenberg, Hamer’s Study shows that being gay is not ‘a deviant choice and [the result of] a lack of will.  It is at least partly a biological orientation, as important to one’s constitution as eye color.’”1  In the Love Won Out series, Focus on the Family explains the error of accepting behavior based on a biological predisposition.  “A genetic link to some behaviors does not prove the idea of normalcy or rightness.  Look at alcoholism or propensities towards anger. While these have been promoted as having a genetic linkage, there are few, if any, in our society who would promote these behaviors as OK just because they are linked genetically.”2  The truth is that a conclusive genetic link to homosexuality has not been found.  In the latest position statement on homosexuality, The American Psychological Association writes, “Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors.”3  Simply stated, no concrete biological cause for homosexuality has ever been found.  No matter what the cause of homosexuality, Scripture is clear that it is one of many sins that can be overcome.  1 Corinthians 6:9-11 reads, “Don’t you know that those who do wrong will have no share in the Kingdom of God?  Don’t fool yourselves.  Those who indulge in sexual sin, who are idol worshipers, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals, thieves, greedy people, drunkards, abusers, and swindlers – none of these will have a share in the Kingdom of God.  There was a time when some of you were just like that, but now your sins have been washed away, and you have been set apart for God.  You have been made right with God because of what the Lord Jesus Christ and the Spirit of our God have done for you.”  We may not have chosen to have same-sex attractions, but we can choose what to do with those attractions.

There are many theories concerning the roots of same-sex attraction. For years the most influential theory has been the Developmental Model, which looks at emotional and family of origin issues in the development of homosexuality. I want to clarify that not everyone who has same-sex attraction fits into the Developmental Model. While the majority of people struggling with same-sex attraction have come from dysfunctional families, others have not. Younger people in today’s culture may be more heavily influenced by their subculture’s promotion of homosexuality and transgender identities than those of us of older generations. Being LGBTQ identified in a performing arts high school or college actually gives and individual more accolades in this generation, while it formerly gave the individual a larger target for bullying in the 70’s and  80’s. As Joe Dallas points out in his book, Speaking of Homosexuality, there are plenty of heterosexual people who have experienced many of the ingredients in the Developmental Model, yet they do not have same-sex attractions.4  All of these insights can serve to help us recognize the complexity of homosexual development, and point us to the Lord for His insight in overcoming unwanted same-sex attraction. Through the years of counseling many people with unwanted LGBTQ issues, I have noticed that the vast majority of people do relate to the Developmental Model, which makes it important to understand.

Before we look at some of the environmental building blocks of homosexuality, I want to talk to the parents who are reading this article.  My wife and I have five kids. The youngest is 21.  Raising teenagers was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life.  It was more difficult than growing up with a paranoid schizophrenic mother, and more difficult than walking away from homosexuality.  We have all made mistakes when raising our children, and we have all done things we wish we could undo.  The important thing is to admit our mistakes and repent to those we have wronged.  Remember that your child’s perceptions were very influential in shaping his or her worldview, and may not reflect the actual reality of how he or she was raised.  Please do not read this list as an indictment against you or your parenting style.  It is simply intended to be a brief look into the heart of one struggling with homosexuality.  If you made mistakes, put them on the cross and let the Lord work in your own heart as well as the heart of your son or daughter.  He or she is responsible for his or her own decisions.

This list is intended as a brief overview of the most common environmental factors contributing to male homosexuality.  We will also look at some additional factors common in the development of lesbianism. Each person has his own life experiences which may or may not be included in this list.

The emotional roots of homosexuality often begin in a breakdown in the relationship with a same-sex parent.  For males, the father may be either extremely passive or demeaning.  The boy feels disconnected from his father and fails to develop a sense of maleness as he grows up.  This in turn hinders him from connecting to other male peers.

The mother may be overprotective and/or try to gain the emotional fulfillment from the son that she cannot get from her husband.  Many of the men I’ve talked to through the years explain that their mothers seemed to place them in the role of being an emotional support or pseudo-husband.  The boys feel uneasy about this unnatural relationship, but are often unable to express their own feelings and desires. 

The boy may relate more to his mother, sisters, and other females in his life than other males.  When the hormones hit at puberty, he is then drawn to the gender that holds the intrigue and mystique.  Some boys are simply more creative and less athletic than the average boy.  The reaction of parents and peers is critical here.  If the neighborhood boys begin to tease him for expressing his creativity and/or demonstrating his lack of athletic ability he may feel less masculine than they.  They may even label him as a gay based on his lack of athleticism. A wise father will recognize the specific giftings in his son and reaffirm his masculinity as expressed in the son’s own skill set.

Envy and jealousy are often key factors in homosexuality.  Very often, males with same-sex attraction are drawn to other males with the qualities they feel are lacking in themselves.  The boy in the locker room who feels physically weak and insecure may be drawn to the other boys who are more physically fit and more confident.  Leanne Payne calls this concept “cannibal compulsion” noting that cannibals historically consumed the people whose attributes they desired.5  This is also demonstrated as older men may be drawn to the youthfulness and perceived innocence of a younger man, while the younger man may be drawn to the fatherly nature of the older male.

Occasionally, men with same-sex attraction may crave sexual encounters with other males out of anger and a desire to destroy in others those traits that they feel lacking in themselves.  Multiple clients have explained their desire to have a sexual encounter with specific types of men with the intent of destroying the perceived attribute in the other male that they feel is lacking in themselves. One man confessed to having encounters with men whom he perceived had a perfect family, in order to wreak havoc on that man’s family.

A vast majority of clients who are struggling with unwanted homosexual attractions have also been the victim of childhood sexual abuse.  When a child’s sexuality is awakened early, it has a devastating effect in the heart causing a confusing whirlwind of emotions with deep seated emotional scars. Not all gay-identified people have been abused, but an overwhelming percentage of them have.

The booklet The Truth Comes Out: The Roots and Causes of Male Homosexuality from Focus on the Family6 lists the following environmental factors in male homosexuality:

1. Sexual violation or experimentation with men or boys

2. Incest or molestation

3. Exposure to pornography

4. Negative spiritual influences

5. Media influences

6. Personality temperament

7. Negative body image

8. Peer labeling, harassment or alienation

9. Fear of – or an inability to relate to – the opposite sex

There are some differences between male homosexuality and female homosexuality.  Males often feel inadequate in their masculinity and wish to connect with other males in a subconscious attempt to receive additional masculinity from them.  Females on the other hand, tend to see their femininity as a liability or an inferior quality.  A woman may have grown up seeing her mother as a victim of abuse by the father or she may have received mistreatment from significant males in own her life.  She may perceive that being feminine is unsafe and detach from her femininity while simultaneously withdrawing from males whom she may perceive as predatory.  Her desire for relationships leads her toward other women.

Females, more often than males, may develop same-sex attractions later in life.  This may happen as a woman receives mistreatment from significant men in her life, cuts her heart off from men, and turns to another female for emotional support.  If the other woman offering the support is unhealthy herself, a codependent relationship may form.  Many women have been drawn into a lesbian relationship as the emotional attachment turns to codependency which then becomes eroticized.

Other building blocks of female homosexuality are similar to those in males including the breakdown in relationship with the same-sex parent, difficulty connecting to same-sex peers, personality and interests more commonly associated with the other gender, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse.

The booklet The Heart of the Matter:  The Roots and Causes of Female Homosexuality from Focus on the Family7 provides the follow statistics from a study of responses from 265 women to look at some of the factors that may have contributed to their lesbian attractions:

55.7% received emotional trauma including sexual innuendoes and specific sexual remarks that made her feel violated
69.1% experienced emotional abuse
66.4% were victims of sexual abuse
53.2% were verbally abused
39.6% felt abandoned
32.5% were victims of physical abuse
20.0% felt utterly neglected

Regardless of the specific causes of homosexual attractions in a person’s life, an open and honest relationship with the Lord is the first step in overcoming unwanted same-sex attraction.  Remember the words of 1 Corinthians 6:11 covered earlier in this article, “There was a time when some of you were just like that, but now your sins have been washed away, and you have been set apart for God.  You have been made right with God because of what the Lord Jesus Christ and the Spirit of our God have done for you.”  For those who have been wounded by their earthly parents, Father God is able to provide what their earthly mother and father were unable to give.  He can heal the wounds they have inflicted.  Psalm 27:10 reads, “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me.”

Many people who are raised in the church keep their struggle to themselves out of fear and shame.  We must be honest about our battle and share it with safe, mature Christians who will walk with us towards Christ.  The church must be a safe place where we can open our hearts and receive the help and discipleship we need.  1 John 1:9 reads, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  The overcomer will need trained prayer ministers, pastors, and counselors who are familiar with the journey and can help the struggler bring the wounds and strongholds to Jesus at the cross.  He or she will also need other safe Christians who will simply walk with him or her and show the love of Christ.

References                                                                                                                                                             

1 Begley, Sharon. Does DNA Make Some Men Gay?, Newsweek Magazine, Updated 2/20/08.  Retrieved from http://www.newsweek.com/id/113943 on 9/3/2008.

2 Straight Answers: Exposing the Myths and Facts about Homosexuality, Love Won Out Series, Focus on the Family Publishing, Colorado Springs, CO. 2000, p. 10.

3 American Psychological Association.  Answers to Your Questions: For a Better Understanding of Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality.  Washington, DC. 2008, p2.  Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/orientation.pdf on 1/11/2019.

4 Dallas, Joe. Speaking of Homosexuality: Discussing the Issues with Kindness and Clarity, Baker Books, Grand Rapids, MI. 2016.

5 Payne, Leanne.  The Broken Image, Hamewith Books, Grand Rapids, MI.  1996.

6 The Truth Comes Out: The Roots and Causes of Male Homosexuality, Love Won Out Series, Focus on the Family Publishing, Colorado Springs, CO, 2002. pp. 10-11.

7 The Heart of the Matter: The Roots and Causes of Female Homosexuality, Love Won Out Series, Focus on the Family Publishing, citing Anne Paulk, A Study on the Roots, Causes and Treatment of Lesbianism, Colorado Springs, CO. 2001.

If you would like more information about Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, or any of the ministries we offer, visit us on the internet at www.recmin.org, or call (586) 739-5114.

This article may be reproduced and distributed as long as no fee is charged and credit is given to Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc.  © 2010, 2019 Reconciliation Ministries of Michigan, Inc.