A Painful Mother's Day?

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

Isaiah 49:15 NIV

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This is the season when many celebrate Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. We want to acknowledge that for some of us, those days may not bring about pleasant memories. You may have had abusive parents. You may not even know your father or mother. Maybe your parents were physically present in the home but you felt like you were invisible. Maybe your life would have been much easier if one of your parents weren’t around at all.

Mother wounds and father wounds are one of the leading contributors to sexual and relational brokenness. God intended mothers to provide us with a “sense of being”, that feeling that we are loved and our needs are taken care of. Fathers are intended to empower us to embrace the identity and purpose that God created us to express. Proverbs 22:6 NKJV tells us to “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” If that is true, then what about the opposite? What if we train up a child in the way he or she should not go? The truth is that broken mothers and fathers inflict deep wounds in the hearts of their children. Sometimes we try to numb our pain through sexual sin. Sometimes the wounds draw us into unhealthy relationships. Raising up a child in a way he should not go has its painful effects. It inflicts deep wounds.

The good news is that our Heavenly Father can heal those wounds. Psalm 27:10 NKJV reads “When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the Lord will take care of me.” God isn’t like our earthly parents. He is safe. He is kind. He is empowering. He loves us so much that while we were still sinners, Jesus willingly sacrificed Himself on the cross… not only to cleanse us from the sins that we committed, but to heal our hearts from the sins that were committed against us. Healing and transformation are huge in the heart of our Heavenly Father. They are huge in the heart of our Savior as well.

Stop Living in the Drain Pan!!!

When our kids were little, we purchased a series of very used refrigerators for our house. One of them had a problem with the drain pan and the tube running from the refrigerator to the pan. Every so often the pan would overflow and start leaking onto the floor. The pan was full of nasty, moldy water and scum. I’d try as carefully as possible to slide it out from under the refrigerator and empty it without spilling most of the filth on the floor. You can guess how that went. Eventually, the tube from the refrigerator to the drain pan would get plugged and we’d have issues inside the refrigerator itself. More messiness.

A few weeks ago, during my quiet time, the Lord showed me a picture of a nasty drain pain full of smelly, moldy water. Some of the scum formed a plug at the bottom of the drain pan and was holding the water in. I recognized the drain pan and its contents. It represented my residual brokenness. The Lord showed me that was an emotional place I retreated to when I felt insecure and inferior. It was familiar. Sometimes it seemed to offer a strange, eerie comfort. It gave me an excuse to not press through the current challenges and risk defeat. It gave me an alternative to being vulnerable, facing the pain, and trusting the Lord to do a deeper work in my heart. The Lord told me to stop living in the drain pan. He was calling me to trust Him and stand in who I really was in Him, rather than cowering in my human brokenness. I was the one keeping the plug in place. He helped me to renounce the plug and repent for retreating to the false comfort of familiar shame and internal isolation. When I did, all of the nasty water started plunging out. Then I saw a picture of a globe and the ocean water was coming out of the globe and gushing through the drain pan to clean it out and open up the doors of opportunity. There were still some stains on the drain pan. I think they help me remember what life in the drain pan was like. I don’t want to go back there. Then I noticed the water was flowing through me to cleanse others. God wants to do a deep work in all of our hearts and equip and empower us to “comfort others with the comfort we have been comforted with”.

What about you? Are you living in your own drain pain? Do you retreat to a familiar hiding place of brokenness when you feel like you’re in a situation that reminds you of your past failures and current shortcomings? If you can relate, I encourage you to repent and take the plug out of your drain pan. Allow the Lord to clean your heart and empower you to stand in your true identity in Christ. You’ll find a strength you’ve never known before, and out of your belly will flow rivers of living water to bless others for the good of eternity. God is calling us out of our familiar hiding places of brokenness and into His marvelous light.

[Photo courtesy of Michael and Dianne Weidner via Unsplash.]